on memory

I have all these blog posts I've been thinking of, and now is the time when I might be able to write a few of them! But this one is on memory.

When I was in labor with Nathaniel, the one thing I kept telling myself was that in the end, the pain would all be a memory anyway. Tomorrow, it would all be a memory. It got me through the worst of the pain before I got the epidural.

I've thought that so many times: how pain is just in the moment, and how quickly it becomes a memory. If you can just hold on long enough, eventually it comes to pass, and then it's behind you.

I think of that every day now with Nathaniel. He is a good, good baby. Every day I look at him and think, tomorrow this will just be a memory. It's a heartening thought when it comes to pain management, but when something is beautiful, it's a little bit sad.

Our little boy is so good. Sometimes I look at him and realize that in twenty years, he'll be all grown up. In twenty years, he'll be practically my age. That's weird. We don't have a lot of time to spend with him while he is so tiny. So it's important to make every memory a good one.