stumblingblocks and the Bible

I wrote this like 2 months ago on a prompting and then felt like I shouldn't post it. Just now I felt like I should post it. So, world, here goes. Sorry it's long.

I.

23 But we preach Christ crucified, unto the Jews a stumblingblock, and unto the Greeks foolishness;

-1 Cor. 1:23

To get the full effect, I recommend reading all of 1 Corinthians 1, with emphasis on v. 18-25.

Why was a Christ crucified a stumblingblock to the Jews? (A stumblingblock is something set in the way of a blind person to make them stumble.)

Because of Deuteronomy 21:22-23, which read (emphasis mine):

22 ¶And if a man have committed a sin worthy of death, and he be to be put to death, and thou hang him on a tree:

23 His body shall not remain all night upon the tree, but thou shalt in any wise bury him that day; (for he that is hanged is accursed of God;) that thy land be not defiled, which the Lord thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.

According to Mosaic law, anyone killed on a tree--such as the wood of a cross--was accursed of God. So clearly, Jesus couldn't have been the Christ, because since His death took place on a tree, He must have been accursed. Right?

Well... wrong. From the Christian perspective, anyway, that is incorrect.

But that is only one interpretation of my question--the question, Why was a Christ crucified a stumblingblock to the Jews? To read the question differently--why was it important that Jesus's death be a stumblingblock to the Jews? Why would God make it difficult for a practicing Jew, one of His covenant people, to believe that Jesus was the Christ? If it's God's will for everyone to be saved, then why make it hard for them to believe in Jesus? Or is it God's will for some people to go to hell because they found it too hard to believe, when God could easily have made Jesus's death something that didn't violate the law of Moses?





II.

28 ¶Take heed therefore unto yourselves, and to all the flock, over the which the Holy Ghost hath made you overseers, to feed the church of God, which he hath purchased with his own blood.

29 For I know this, that after my departing shall grievous wolves enter in among you, not sparing the flock.

30 Also of your own selves shall men arise, speaking perverse things, to draw away disciples after them.

31 Therefore watch, and remember, that by the space of three years I ceased not to warn every one night and day with tears.


-Acts 20:28-31

Paul warned his fellow saints in the early Christian church "night and day with tears" that after he departed, "grievous wolves," "of [their] own selves" would arise, to pervert the Church of Jesus. In 2 Thessalonians 2:3 Paul went on to explain that the "day of Christ" "shall not come, except there come a falling away first." The term "falling away" is an English translation of the Greek "apostasia," or apostasy. Paul warned the early Christians all the time that an apostasy was inevitable--that men would deceive and use the gospel for gain and lead the church astray. The definition of the word apostasy is "a total desertion of or departure from one's religion, principles, party, cause, etc."

We know that the early Christian church had to apostatize at some point, because Paul specifically said so multiple times. Before Jesus comes again, according to the Bible, there will be a falling away, or an apostasy--a total desertion or departure from the truth (according to the definition of the word), first.

Why is this important?

Because if the Christian Church established by Jesus in the flesh had to fall away, or apostatize, or "desert or depart from" the fulness of Jesus's Gospel before Jesus could return, that means one of two things. Because apostasy was/is inevitable according to the Apostle Paul, it means that either A) the Church apostatized in the past, or B) the Church will apostatize in the future.

Me? I believe it's clear that the Church apostatized in the past, the far distant past. Today's Christian landscape is reminiscent of Isaiah's lament in Isaiah 53:6: "all we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way."

There are hundreds, if not thousands, of separate Christians sects today. They do not have a "unity of the faith" as Paul told the Ephesians in chapter 4, verse 13. Rather, as Paul states in the next verse, we are as "children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive."

"Carried about by every wind of doctrine" is a great phrase to describe most of Christianity today. I mean, is there anything all Christians agree on? There are churches that purport to be Christian that support abortion and gay marriage. Some Christians believe in the necessity of baptism; others don't. Some believe in the necessity of priesthood authority; others don't. I have friends that go to church all the time and couldn't begin to have a doctrinal discussion with you. How can you have a Christian church that doesn't teach doctrine? I don't know. But it happens, people!

Just based on the sheer amount of disagreement among Christians today, I think it's safe to say that there has been an apostasy. We no longer have that unity of the faith. Even in churches with established doctrine (such as the Catholic or Methodist church), the teachings will often change based on who your pastor is. The variation in Christian beliefs is huge. Yet only one set of Christian doctrine can be correct. If two doctrines are contradictory, only one is correct.

Why does this apostasy matter? Because at some point, God has to remember His people. Remember Acts 3:21, which promises a "restitution of all things, which God hath spoken by the mouth of all his holy prophets since the world began."

God told Isaiah in Isaiah 29:14 that He would "proceed to do a marvellous work among this people, even a marvellous work and a wonder." Examine Isaiah 29:14, 18, and 22-24 (I cut it down for brevity but you should read... well, all of Isaiah but also Isaiah 29:14-the end):

14 Therefore, behold, I will proceed to do a marvellous work among this people, even a marvellous work and a wonder: for the wisdom of their wise men shall perish, and the understanding of their prudent men shall be hid.

18 ¶And in that day shall the deaf hear the words of the book, and the eyes of the blind shall see out of obscurity, and out of darkness.

22 Therefore thus saith the Lord, who redeemed Abraham, concerning the house of Jacob, Jacob shall not now be ashamed, neither shall his face now wax pale.

23 But when he seeth his children, the work of mine hands, in the midst of him, they shall sanctify my name, and sanctify the Holy One of Jacob, and shall fear the God of Israel.

24 They also that erred in spirit shall come to understanding, and they that murmured shall learn doctrine.

Isaiah prophesies of a "marvellous work and a wonder" that God will commence, a "work and a wonder" that will confound the wise men and the prudent men. The "book" that will come forth will teach doctrine, teach God's children to fear Him and sanctify Him, and the book will be involved in the redemption of the house of Jacob.

But, to go back to verse 14, that book will be--what? Something to make the wisdom of their wise men perish, and the understanding of their prudent men to be hid. In other words, a stumblingblock. Or, as 1 Cor. 1:27 explains, "God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty."

To go back to Isaiah 29--what will that book be, mentioned in verse 18?

A stumblingblock.





III.

The Lord trieth the righteous.

- Psalm 11:5

25 And we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them;

-Abraham 3:25

God puts trials--even what you might call "stumblingblocks"--in our way to test our faith.

I believe that the stumblingblock of a Christ crucified was necessary for the Jews at the time of Jesus because it was a trial of faith. To learn for yourself that Jesus was the Christ, despite His crucifixion, you would have to rely wholly on the witness of the Holy Spirit, and leave your doubts at the door.

We have many Biblical promises that God's "marvellous work" in the latter days will confound the wise. I won't quote 'em because I already quoted a bunch of them above. But essentially: when God restores all things, as He has promised to do in both the Old and New Testaments, that restoration will involve some stumblingblocks that could potentially trip up even the faithful--just as Jesus's crucifixion originally tripped up faithful Jews. And why? Presumably to test our faith--to see if we will rely on the witness of the Holy Ghost more than we rely on our own wisdom.

Basically: to see if we can trust God more than we trust ourselves.





IV.

7 Know ye not that there are more nations than one? Know ye not that I, the Lord your God, have created all men, and that I remember those who are upon the isles of the sea; and that I rule in the heavens above and in the earth beneath; and I bring forth my word unto the children of men, yea, even upon all the nations of the earth?

8 Wherefore murmur ye, because that ye shall receive more of my word? Know ye not that the testimony of two nations is a witness unto you that I am God, that I remember one nation like unto another? Wherefore, I speak the same words unto one nation like unto another. And when the two nations shall run together the testimony of the two nations shall run together also.

9 And I do this that I may prove unto many that I am the same yesterday, today, and forever; and that I speak forth my words according to mine own pleasure. And because that I have spoken one word ye need not suppose that I cannot speak another; for my work is not yet finished; neither shall it be until the end of man, neither from that time henceforth and forever.

10 Wherefore, because that ye have a Bible ye need not suppose that it contains all my words; neither need ye suppose that I have not caused more to be written.

2 Nephi 29:7-10

In Ezekiel 37:15-19 God explains that he will have His prophets write on sticks--the Hebrew for that word could also be translated as 'writing tablets'--one writing tablet for Judah, or the Jews, and one tablet for Ephraim. Examine verse 19:

19 Say unto them, Thus saith the Lord God; Behold, I will take the stick of Joseph, which is in the hand of Ephraim, and the tribes of Israel his fellows, and will put them with him, even with the stick of Judah, and make them one stick, and they shall be one in mine hand.

I believe the Bible to be the stick of Judah, and the Book of Mormon to be the stick of Ephraim. Now that we have both of them, they literally can be one in your hands--my copy of the Bible has the Book of Mormon attached to it. To me, this is a fulfillment of Ezekiel's prophecy. The "book" that is mentioned in Isaiah 29 does indeed confound the wise, acting as a stumblingblock to those who would prefer to trust their own wisdom to God's.

The only way to develop a testimony of the Book of Mormon as another testament of Jesus is to pray about it with an open heart and mind, and rely on trust in the Lord Jesus Christ that He will send His Holy Spirit down to you and testify to you. In the meantime, it's easy to qualm about things like the archaeological record or mentions of horses or whatever. I had a friend who said she could never believe the Book of Mormon was true because there was no archaeological record supporting it like there is for the Bible.

And I just thought--if your faith in Jesus is based on something so trivial as an archaeological dig or two, is that really faith?

Is it faith in God if what is really important to you is the arguments of man in favor of it?

To me, this is why the Book of Mormon exists. It is here to try our faith, so God can see if we are truly willing to follow Him in all things, even when it doesn't make sense.

But the most amazing part, to me, anyway, is that once you have a testimony of the Book of Mormon, everything does make sense. The Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ is incredibly internally consistent, in a way that no other Christian faith I have studied is. I urge you to give it a chance.


V.

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

- James 1:5

3 Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.

4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.


-Moroni 10:3-5

That is the promise that comes with the Book of Mormon: that if you read it, and ponder the words in your heart, and ask God in the name of Jesus if it is true or not, with faith that God will tell you the truth, the Holy Ghost will tell you the truth. You don't need to take my word or anyone's word for it. You just need to be open to the words of the Holy Ghost.

If you believe in the Bible, which clearly states that an apostasy is necessary and inevitable, and that there will be a restoration of all things according to the words of the holy prophets--when do you think that will happen?

What if it's happening now?

How would you recognize it? Are you searching for it?

I testify to you that I have read and studied the Book of Mormon and the Bible, and I know them both to contain the words of God. I know that as you study them, you will grow closer to God. I believe that both books, but particularly the Book of Mormon, contain truths that you are searching for.

Sometimes I wonder what kind of person I would have been if I had been alive at the time of Jesus. Would I have listened to the Spirit and believed? Or would I have been so caught up in the law of Moses that I would have called Jesus accursed because of His death on the cross and denied that he could possibly be the Christ? Would I have even given Him a chance?

I have been asked before if I am a convert to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. And while I was raised LDS, I have to answer yes. Because I didn't inherit my faith in Jesus and the fulness of His gospel: I acted on the promise contained in the Book of Mormon and asked God for myself if it was true. Reading the book can take less than a week--it was hardly an investment of time. And I knew that, in reading it, worst case scenario: God told me it was a fake and I'd just spent a week learning about other people's beliefs. Best case scenario: the fulness of God's true gospel was restored, I could have access to even more of Jesus's words, and I could have a personal witness from the Holy Ghost of its truth.

I took the risk and read the book.

I got my answer.

You can get an answer, too.

7 Reasons Mormons Marry Young

Note: I wrote this post like a week ago and never posted it. BAM. Posted.

Mormons marry young.

Carl and I got married when I was 20 and he was 22. We had known each other for 16 months.

My mom got married when she was 20 and my dad was 22 or 23. My BFF Jacque got married at 20. Many, if not most, of my friends out in Utah got married before they turned 23, both guys and girls.

Early marriage is a normal thing among Mormons. Yet, among the rest of the world, marriage is being delayed longer and longer, if people even bother getting married at all.

I've been thinking about why this is, and came up with a bunch of reasons why we get married so young, and so consistently. See what you think.


1. LDS doctrine teaches that marriage can be not until death do you part, but for time and all eternity.

Many mainstream Christians take verse 25 of the riddle in Mark 12 to mean that marriage cannot exist in heaven. And I quote (v. 23-25, key scripture bolded):

23 In the resurrection therefore, when they shall rise, whose wife shall she be of them? for the seven had her to wife.

24 And Jesus answering said unto them, Do ye not therefore err, because ye know not the scriptures, neither the power of God?

25 For when they shall rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage; but are as the angels which are in heaven.

This is the scripture that many use to defend the doctrinal argument that marriage cannot exist in the resurrection. However, the language of verse 25 is not referring to marriages so much as to weddings. Men marry; women are given in marriage. Carl married me and I was given in marriage to him at our wedding in 2008. Today, we will not marry. This month, we did not marry. I was not given in marriage to Carl this week. All of that happened on our wedding day.

What Jesus is literally, textually saying here is that weddings cannot happen in the resurrection. Whether or not marriages can exist in the resurrection is a whole other detail entirely. Carl and I were not married yesterday, and we will not get married today, but we are still married. Because he married me and I was given in marriage to him at an earlier date.

Thus, Latter-day Saints believe that this Biblical proclamation is true, but that it does not preclude the concept of eternal marriage. You can believe that that scripture DOES preclude marriage in the resurrection, and that is fine, but that is a belief based on inference and not textual accuracy.

These four short verses from the Doctrine and Covenants are a further explanation of this idea.

In Jesus the Christ James C. Talmage explains that what Jesus's response implies is that the woman's later 6 marriages were for mortal life only, and in the resurrection she is thus still married to the first.

Going along with this, there is the Biblical idea in Genesis 2:18 that it is not good for man to be alone. I personally don't understand why that would be true now, but not in the afterlife.


2. Latter-day Saints believe that eternal marriage is a sacrament that brings the participants closer to God, and additionally is necessary for ultimate happiness. I could wax eloquent about this one but instead I'll just recommend you read this verse in the Doctrine and Covenants. Suffice it to say that we believe that marriage is crucial to our eternal progression.

3. We believe that the commandments against fornication and adultery are still in force. In other words, if you want to enjoy any kind of sexual activity, and I mean any kind, you have to get married first. That is definitely what you might call a "motivator."

4. We believe that the Biblical commandment to "multiply and replenish the earth" is still in force. God never stated in the Bible or otherwise that this commandment has outlived itself. We believe that we are commanded to bring children into this world.

4. We believe that the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth has eternal significance. Going along with the point above, we have a clear understanding of why it's important to multiply and replenish the earth. Our Biblical understanding of the premortal existence of man leads to the conclusion that for God's purposes to be fulfilled, all of His children need bodies (see here for a list of Bible scriptures discussing the premortal existence of our spirits). Because of this understanding, we believe that having children is crucial to God's plan of happiness for us. Having a family is a blessing that allows us to serve God by serving each other.

5. There is a strong Mormon culture of dating. In LDS culture, dating is very different from what you're probably thinking. There is no sex, or anything like it--no petting, no necking. Those are not even on the table. By dating, we literally mean, going on dates. Like to the movies or out to dinner or on a picnic or on a walk. Dating is so important to us that we literally have our prophets making announcements about it. Read this prophetic counsel on dating: why we don't date, why we do date, how to date, and why it matters. Starting when I was 17 years old, I started dating regularly, by which I mean, an average of about once a week. I went on tons of dates with dozens of people--lots of first dates, some second dates, and a handful of third dates--and I ended up having 4 boyfriends, 3 of whom I dated seriously (as in, with marriage as the end-goal. The not-serious boyfriend I had when I was like 16 so marriage was not really my end-goal there, ha!). Anyway, dating is culturally expected: you're expected to go out and meet people and hang out with them one on one in safe situations so you can get to know them better and see if you might want to turn a casual relationship into something more than that.

Or, as Dallin H. Oaks says in that talk linked above in big bold letters, "It's marriage time!" ^.~

6. Latter-day Saints are taught that our first callings are as mothers and fathers. That kind of goes along with the rest of the stuff I already wrote about.

7. There is a huge emphasis on self-reliance in the Church. This relates to marriage because it is a fact that the greatest weapon against child poverty is marriage (see link for studies and graphs and charts and stuff). Marriage enables us to provide physically and temporally for our own families and for each other. If I were not married but still had my child, I would not be able to serve others very much at all. Instead, I would have to rely on others.


~~~

So, those are 7 reasons I thought of as to why Mormons marry so young.

Some people argue that it's dumb to marry young. They have a lot of reasons for that conviction, one of which is likelihood of divorce. I recommend this article on why it's good to wait to get married. The article does point out that only about 5% of Latter-day Saints who are married in the temple and remain active in the Church go through divorce. (The number is closer to 17% for Latter-day Saints who marry in the temple and do not remain active in the Church).

I, for one, am glad every day that I got married when I did, where I did, how I did, to the guy I did. Just about every day Carl and I remark how glad we are that we found each other and chose to be married. Marriage has blessed our lives so much.

One of my closest friends, a convert to the Church, told me that marriage was one of the reasons she first started investigating the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints: she saw members of the Church with strong marriages and realized that that was what she wanted. She also realized that if she remained in her current, more mainstream Christian faith, the chances of her having a marriage like her Mormon friends' parents had were slim. She was motivated by her desire for marriage and a family to look into the teachings of the Church; obviously, she ended up believing them and eventually converting. She got married young, too, and now has a kid.

Speaking of kids, mine is waking up. Bye!

the Christian mysteries

I wrote this post a few days ago but only put it up now. Enjoy.

This post was ruminating in my head for a while, since I stumbled across this letter from Pliny the Younger in 112 AD asking Emperor Trajan about how to punish the Christians in his area.

Then, I found this article about Juan Williams complaining about the fact that not just anybody gets to enter Mormon temples.

And then I knew: I have to write this post.

So, here it is. A post on the Christian mysteries.

One problem some mainstream Christians have with Mormonism is the issue of temple worship: they see it as secret and, frankly, bizarre. Of course, as Stephen E. Robinson points out in his book Are Mormons Christian?,* to attack Mormons on the issue of temples is like attacking a monk under a vow of silence. Those who have entered the temple are bound by covenant not to reveal what happens there, and so they cannot fully explain things to critics and detractors.

However, Christianity has always been marked by esoteric teaching--teachings given only to some and not to others, reserved only for initiates and held back from the public--and this fact is present throughout the Bible.

Before we get any further into that, let's examine 1 Corinthians 2:6-7 (KJV):

6 Howbeit we speak wisdom among them that are perfect: yet not the wisdom of this world, nor of the princes of this world, that come to nought:

7 But we speak the wisdom of God in a mystery, even the hidden wisdom, which God ordained before the world unto our glory:

Looking over other translations of the Bible, several other translations translate "perfect" as "mature in faith," which is indeed a valid way to interpret that word. However, the Greek word in the original text of this verse is "teleios," which means "perfect," "mature," and, importantly, "initiated."

The Greek word for "mystery" is "musterion," which also translates as "a secret," "a secret rite," or "a secret teaching."

In the original, unadulterated text of the Bible, what Paul is saying is that there are certain particular teachings that are reserved for those who have been initiated through secret rites into essentially the fullness of Christianity.

Do a topical search for "milk" and "meat" in the New Testament and you'll find it over and over again: Paul tells the early Christians in his letters that they are ready for milk--the simple, public teachings of Jesus--but not yet ready for the meat. This "meat" is something different than the milk, and Paul never discloses exactly what it is. Paul's frequent references to the "meat" of the Gospel imply that the Bible only scratches the surface of Christianity: there is much more that he was not allowed to share, hidden mysteries spoken of only among the initiated, or the "perfect," as it is translated in the KJV.

We know that the "hidden mysteries" here are not the Bible or the general idea of Christianity, because general Christianity is proclaimed "upon the housetops" to anyone who will hear. In 1 Corinthians 3:1-2, Paul tells the Corinthians, who are already Christians, that they can have the "milk" of the Gospel but not yet the "meat," which also implies that even believers of Christ who have the scriptures are not given the "hidden mysteries."

Basically: the Bible flat-out says that there is more to Christianity than there is contained in the Bible.

The early Christians were aware of the mysteries. Saint Clement of Alexandria wrote:

Thus the Lord did not hinder from doing good while keeping the Sabbath; but allowed us to communicate of those divine mysteries, and of that holy light, to those who are able to receive them. He did not certainly disclose to the many what did not belong to the many; but to the few to whom He knew that they belonged, who were capable of receiving and being moulded according to them. But secret things are entrusted to speech, not to writing, as is the case with God.

Saint Cyril of Jerusalem additionally wrote about the mysteries--this particular translation doesn't specifically mention the mysteries, but other translations do, with Cyril telling the Christian initiates that they are "standing on the frontier of mystery" and "to smuggle no word out" about it:

Thus is it with the Catechumen also if he should hear from the Believer: the Catechumen is made delirious, for not understanding what he has heard, he finds fault with it, and scoffs at it, and the Believer bears the blame of a betrayer. But now thou art standing on the frontiers ; see thou let out nothing ; not that the things spoken do not deserve telling, but the ear that hears does not deserve receiving. Thou thyself wast once a Catechumen, and then I told thee not what was coming. When thou hast by practice reached the height of what is taught thee, then wilt thou understand that the Catechumens are unworthy to hear them.

Cyril also describes an esoteric baptism in that letter, as well as things that sound very much like the LDS temple teachings.

Saint Ambrose of Milan, Saint John Chrysostom in Constantinople, Theodore of Mopsuestia, and Saint Basil the Great all also wrote of the esoterica of Christianity reserved only for the initiated. Note also that all these Saints were located in different parts of the world: this wasn't some localized freak teaching. This was something that Christians practiced far and wide. Also notice that these writings are not from random Christians around at the time of early Christianity: these are writings from men who have been canonized by the Catholic Church, men widely considered to be, basically, "legit."

Anyway. To get back to the first link I posted. Important paragraph (with emphasis) from Pliny's letter:

Others, whose names were given to me by an informer, first admitted the charge and then denied it; they said that they had ceased to be Christians two or more years previously, and some of them even twenty years ago. They all did reverence to your statue and the images of the gods in the same way as the others, and reviled the name of Christ. They also declared that the sum total of their guilt or error amounted to no more than this: they had met regularly before dawn on a fixed day to chant verses alternately among themselves in honor of Christ as if to a god, and also to bind themselves by oath, not for any criminal purpose, but to abstain from theft, robbery and adultery, to commit no breach of trust and not to deny a deposit when called on to restore it. After this ceremony it had been their custom to disperse and reassemble later to take food of an ordinary, harmless kind; but they had in fact given up this practice since my edict, issued on your instructions, which banned all political societies. This made me decide that it was all the more necessary to extract the truth by torture from two slave-women, whom they call deaconesses. I found nothing but a degenerate sort of cult carried to extravagant lengths.

Just another evidence of the secret rites that early Christians practiced, which is vaguely reminiscent of LDS temple worship today.

And to go back to Juan Williams' fretting over the fact that non-Mormons aren't allowed in the temple--well, many Mormons aren't allowed to go in, either. And that's because the teachings you find in the temple are of the same nature as Paul's "hidden mysteries," the "meat" that he couldn't give to "milk" Christians. Many Mormons are "milk" Christians, too. To the extent that people like Juan Williams and other mainstream Christians are weirded out by LDS temple worship, I can only deduce that it's due to a lack of understanding of actual Bible text and early Christian teaching.

From what I have read of the Bible and the writings of early Christian saints, esoteric teachings were an important, crucial part of Jesus's original gospel, and I believe they still are today. But even if you don't believe the LDS faith is correct, to dismiss temple worship as somehow un-Christian is fundamentally incorrect.

As I have noted before, my religion holds that men are that they might have joy. As far as I am concerned, everyone was put on this earth to be happy. So find a set of beliefs that makes you happy.

In the meantime, belonging to a faith that is in keeping with the Christianity that was around when Christ was on the earth makes me happy. And I'm glad that the more I learn about the actual text of the Bible and the writings of the early saints, the more it fits with what I know of Jesus's Gospel from the Bible and the Book of Mormon. But we can all believe what we want. The end.


* This book is fantastic, a scholarly, non-proselytizing look at Mormon doctrine in the light of Biblical text and the writings of both Christian saints and scholars. It is definitely worth a read. Much of this post was essentially a summary of the section on esoteric teachings.

Carl's talk on covenants

Carl gave a talk in sacrament meeting two weeks ago on covenants. I was really pleased with it; he had a lot of good stuff in there. The day he wrote it I started typing things up from it but it's taken forever so this morning I just finished it up and I'm posting it. I'm including the specifically Mormon stuff he said, but if you're not LDS but still Christian I think you can still read the rest of it and get good things out of it. So I'm paraphrasing.

The talk was based on this general conference address and this scripture, which reads:

I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise.

Carl started us off in Matthew 7:21-23, which reads:

21 ¶Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.

22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?

23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

How is it that a person can prophesy of Jesus and do good works in His name, and yet still have the Lord not know him?

The answer lies in the original text of the Bible: in the original Hebrew, the word "know" is "yada," which can (and I think here absolutely does) imply a covenant. What the Bible is teaching here is that just loving the Lord and doing good works in His name is not enough: for Jesus to accept you, you need to have covenanted with him.

Interestingly, the Greek word for covenant is the same word as the word for testament (pronounced "dee-ath-ay-kay"). A covenant is a written agreement between two parties; a testament is basically a will, a document explaining what someone wants to have done with their legacy after his or her death. Depending on the circumstance, one translation may seem more appropriate than another, but in the end, what we know as the Old and New Testaments may be translated alternatively as the Old and New Covenants. This would make The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ to read instead The Book of Mormon: Another Covenant of Jesus Christ, which makes a lot of sense in the context of the scripture instructing us to "repent and remember the new covenant, even the Book of Mormon."

In other words, our covenantal responsibilities and blessings are outlined in the scriptures--so it behooves us to study the scriptures and understand what our obligations are. It is only by first making, and then understanding and keeping our covenants that Jesus knows us and accepts us into the kingdom of heaven (as explained in Matthew 7).

Carl then turned to D&C 130:20-21:

20 There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated—

21 And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.

Carl explained that these verses show that covenants bring blessings you can't get any other way.

He then read the sacrament prayer, the prayer used to bless and sanctify specifically the bread in our church's communion/sacrament/Eucharist ceremony, whatever you call it:

O God, the Eternal Father, we ask thee in the name of thy Son, Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify this bread to the souls of all those who partake of it; that they may eat in remembrance of the body of thy Son, and witness unto thee, O God, the Eternal Father, that they are willing to take upon them the name of thy Son, and always remember him, and keep his commandments which he hath given them, that they may always have his Spirit to be with them. Amen.

Carl used the sacramental covenant here to explain that covenants help up exercise faith: we're making promises to God to exercise faith.

He also pointed out that when we make covenants, we're not promising to never ever mess up. We're promising that we are "willing" to take upon us the name of Jesus, and to always remember Him, and keep His commandments. In return we receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. God knows that we will mess up, but the important thing is that we are willing to keep the covenants and that we do our best. When we do mess up, we have the opportunity to repent--and when we renew our baptismal covenant through the taking of the sacrament, our repentance can be complete.

At the end of his talk, Carl told the story from Alma 24, where a bunch of bloodthirsty killers become converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ, and covenant with God that they will never kill anyone ever again--and then they bury all their weapons. Their whole story is very cool but this blog post has taken like two weeks to write so I'm ready to be done now.

Suffice it to say, covenants are important, and when we make them and understand them and keep them we are blessed. And Carl's talk was good. The end.

authority: or, why I could be Catholic

Over the past few weeks I've thought a lot about authority, and tonight, I couldn't sleep without writing about it.

So here goes.

In the Old Testament, specifically Exodus 40:15, the tribe of Levi is anointed, sanctified, and given the Aaronic, or Levitical Priesthood. This authority enabled the Levite priests to preside over burnt offerings and other temple rites. In Numbers 25:13, the Levitical Priesthood is described as "everlasting."

In the New Testament (John 15:16), Christ specifically mentions ordaining His disciples--ordination is how one receives the priesthood.

In ancient times, according to 1 Chronicles 23, Aaronic priests were in charge of offering burnt offerings, and were in charge of caring for the tabernacle, among other things.

Hebrews 7 is an incredible chapter of the New Testament, dealing entirely with the Aaronic Priesthood and the need for the Melchizedek Priesthood. If you are a practicing Christian and haven't read it, you should.

Paul explains in verse 11,

If therefore perfection were by the Levitical priesthood, (for under it the people received the law,) what further need was there that another priest should rise after the order of Melchisedec, and not be called after the order of Aaron?

In other words, if the Aaronic Priesthood were enough to save the people, why would they also need the Melchizedek Priesthood? The implication is that not even just one, but two priesthoods are necessary for salvation. I would quote the entire rest of the chapter, but you should really just read it yourself.

Paul goes on to explain how Jesus took the oath of the Melchizedek Priesthood:

And inasmuch as not without an oath he was made priest:

21 (For those priests were made without an oath; but this with an oath by him that said unto him, The Lord sware and will not repent, Thou art a priest for ever after the order of Melchisedec:)

22 By so much was Jesus made a surety of a better testament.

In Psalms 110:4, it is written:

The Lord hath sworn, and will not repent, Thou art a priest for ever after the order of Melchizedek.

Jesus held the Melchizedek Priesthood, and additionally conferred it upon his apostles (as mentioned in John 15:16). This is the key Jesus gave to Peter in Matthew 16:19: "the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven."

Peter had the power to bind and loose both on earth and in heaven by the power of the Holy Melchizedek Priesthood.

So where is this Priesthood today?

Well, before we even answer that question, it's important to remember that Paul taught in 2 Thessalonians 2:3 that Christ would not return again except there be a falling away first. In other words, part of His everlasting gospel would be taken away from the earth, and then restored at a later date.

To get back to the main question: where is the priesthood today?

Only two Christian sects claim to have access to priesthood power on the earth today. The Catholics claim that Peter, as the holder of the keys of the kingdom of heaven after Jesus's leaving the earth, conferred that power on the next leader of Jesus's church. Catholicism holds that the priesthood power has been passed down through the Popes since that time, and they trace their priesthood lineage through Peter and thereby Jesus Christ.

The other Christian sect that claims to have priesthood power is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The believers of this religion claim that the priesthood of the Lord was lost, as a part of the "falling away" promised in 2 Thessalonians 2:3. Latter-day Saints believe that the priesthood was restored to the earth on 15 May 1829, when John the Baptist conferred it on Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery on the banks of the Susquehanna River.

As far as I know, no other Christian denomination even claims to have the keys of the priesthood. This is important. The priesthood is necessary, at least according to Hebrews 7. It is a key doctrine of the gospel of Christ.

That is why if I weren't LDS, I'd have to be Catholic. I don't understand how any Christian could be satisfied with attending a church that didn't even claim to have the "keys of the kingdom," or the authority to act in God's name. Obviously, over a billion Christians in the world actually don't care about that, and that is fine for them, but I'm just saying that I personally don't understand that. I feel that the Holy Bible makes it clear that there is a priesthood power necessary for the proper running of Christ's church on the earth. After all, right before Christ confers the priesthood upon Peter in Matthew 16:19, in 16:18 He says that this is the rock upon which He shall build His church. If your church doesn't claim access to the priesthood, then it is clearly not built on the rock that Christ says His church is built on. And therefore, wouldn't it not be Christ's church? Again, just my logic here. Take it for what it's worth. Your logic is more important than mine.

Priesthood authority is necessary today for the same reason it was necessary in the time of Moses and the time of Christ. It is necessary because it is "everlasting," and because it is the foundation, or rock, upon which Christ's church is built. Proper authority is necessary for everything--even driving. If you don't have a driver's license, you don't have the authority to drive, even if you know how.

As an analogy, to me, seeing a church led by someone who doesn't claim priesthood authority is like seeing a regular guy pulling people over on the highway and giving them speeding tickets. Even if the people really are speeding, you have to have the proper authority to pull people over and give out tickets. If you're not a police officer, you don't have that authority.

The priesthood is important because it is the authority that God gives to man to act in all things. If your spiritual leader doesn't claim to have the priesthood, then he is not really qualified to be your leader, in my opinion. Emphasized because I know that my opinion doesn't matter as much as your opinion, and also because I know that lots of people are just fine and even happy with following spiritual leaders who don't claim to have any authority from God. And that's fine.

But to me, I couldn't take that. I believe in the Holy Bible, and I believe that the inconvenient matter of the priesthood is just as important now as it was when the Bible was originally written. I believe that the priesthood is, as is written in both the Old and New Testaments, "everlasting." And I know for a fact, and so do you, because I told you, that two Christian sects claim access to it: Catholicism and Mormonism.

To me, those are the two options. That's why if I weren't Mormon, I'd be Catholic.

I guess the third option is that Paul's "falling away" described in 2 Thessalonians 2:3 is still in force, and still no church has the fulness of Christ's truth and priesthood. So there are three options. But we are promised in James 1:5-6 that "if any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed."

You can decide for yourself which of the three options is correct. All you have to do is pray in faith and God will tell you the truth of it Himself. You will recognize it because God will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart. If you believe in the Bible too, and realize the importance and eternal need for priesthood authority on the earth, all you have to do is pray and ask God with an honest heart where that authority can be found. God cannot lie.

I am so grateful for the power of the priesthood in my life. I was fortunate enough to grow up in a home where my father held both the Aaronic and the Melchizedek Priesthoods. Now my brother does and my husband does. Just this week we had the opportunity to use the priesthood in a blessing on my baby, who was struggling with teething. Even though Nathaniel was screaming and upset, when Carl told him that he was giving him a message from Heavenly Father, he quieted and listened. Priesthood blessings through the laying on of hands are not prayers; as one of Christ's living apostles has stated,

In a priesthood blessing a servant of the Lord exercises the priesthood, as moved upon by the Holy Ghost, to call upon the powers of heaven for the benefit of the person being blessed. Such blessings are conferred by holders of the Melchizedek Priesthood, which has the keys of all the spiritual blessings of the Church (see D&C 107:18, 67).

A prayer is a request. Anyone can pray. Not everyone can give a priesthood blessing. Only men who are called of God, having authority, can give a priesthood blessing. A priesthood blessing is not a request; it is the exercise of the priesthood, with God-given authority, calling on the powers of heaven to specifically benefit the person being blessed. The two are different, very different. One requires authority and the other does not. Both can be very effective--priesthood power does not diminish the power of prayer. Prayer is vital, prayer is essential, prayer is important. However, prayers and priesthood blessings are not the same. They are not even that similar, in my opinion. In prayer, you're petitioning God and don't need any authority. With the use of the priesthood, you must have been ordained by someone else who has authority, and it is not a request: it is a message. At least, that's how I've always viewed it. Priesthood blessings are messages to a person from God, through the mouth of the person giving the blessing.

I have a testimony of the priesthood. I have had priesthood blessings when I have been sick and injured; I've received blessings when I needed guidance in my life. Every year my father would give me a blessing for school. I have received a patriarchal blessing, as did the twelve sons of Israel in Genesis 49:28. I have witnessed the power of the priesthood too many times to count. I do believe that the Holy Priesthood mentioned so reverently in the Holy Bible has been restored to the earth; I believe it is accessible; I believe that it is everlasting, and necessary, and beautiful, and here.

If you have never thought about the need for the priesthood before, I challenge you to take some time to think about it. Pray about it. Fast over it. This is an important doctrinal issue and if the Bible is true, then the issue of the priesthood has eternal consequences for you. At the very least, the Bible has stated that Jesus holds the Melchizedek Priesthood, and will forever. That means He holds it now. Maybe as a follower of Jesus, it would be worth it to learn for yourself what that means, why it is significant enough for the Bible to mention it in both the Old and New Testaments, and how it relates to you and your relationship with Jesus.

Who knows? Maybe you'll discover that priesthood authority matters to you. Maybe you'll decide that it doesn't. Either way, my religion holds that men are that they might have joy. As far as I am concerned, everyone was put on this earth to be happy. So find a set of beliefs that makes you happy.

In the meantime, understanding the need for the priesthood makes me happy. And believing that I belong to a church that has that priesthood authority makes me happy. And that's one reason I'm a Mormon--and why if I weren't, I'd be a Catholic. :o)

teething, and a blessing

Last week, for two nights in a row, Nathaniel was teething.

The first night, he was burning up temperature-wise, and he'd wake up every hour or two to scream and cry, and the only comfort in his world was nursing, but he wouldn't nurse lying down, so I had to sit up and nurse him that way all night. It tired me out so much it didn't even occur to me to give him any painkiller or anything until the morning. We finally gave him some baby Motrin in the early morning and it broke his fever and calmed him down.

The next night, he did the same thing, except we tried the Motrin sooner. However, this time he knew better (or so he thought!) and spat out his Motrin binky--onto his darling mother of course, so I was covered in Motrin head to toe, basically. That stuff is incredibly sticky, ps. But anyway, he wouldn't have any meds, and trying to get him to take any just made him more upset, and finally we decided to have Carl give him a priesthood blessing.

At first, Nathaniel just tried to get away--he pushed against Carl's hands on his head and tried to squirm away from it. But as soon as Carl said, "This is a message from your Heavenly Father," Nathaniel calmed, and looked at Carl's face, until the blessing was over. Then he had a few more cries just for good measure, and finally fell asleep.

I am so glad to have the priesthood in my home. I was grateful for that before we had kids, but now that we have Nathaniel, I'm even more grateful. It was beautiful to see my baby feeling God's love for him through the words and authority of his earthly daddy.

The next day, Nathaniel's fourth tooth emerged. He now has all his front teeth. He is a wonderful boy and we love him very much.

on service

Yesterday a friend asked if I could drive her around this morning to various appointments. I said yes, because I feel strongly that God has blessed me with a car when I most likely don't deserve one, so I'd better help out His other children with it.

However, these appointments are right at the same time as Nathaniel's nap.

I've been pondering this every since. And before that, too--it's been a thought that's weighed heavily on my mind for weeks. I believe in service. I believe that "when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God." However, both my friend and my baby are my fellow beings--and it appears as though when I help the one, I could potentially be really not-helping the other one.

At what point do I refuse doing service outside the home, in order to perform service inside the home?

Last night my scripture study in Enos led me to study the "nurture of the Lord," which led me to Ephesians. This was good because right under Ephesians 6:4 was a little section on service:

5 Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ;

6 Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart;

7 With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men:

8 Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord, whether he be bond or free.

It reminds me of Matthew 25:40:

And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

In a very real way, when I drive my friend around today it will be as if I am helping Christ get to where He needs to be. At the same time, though, I will be putting another little person through a whole lot to make that happen. Christ suffered for both potential situations: for my friend not being able to go where she needs to go, AND for my baby's body freaking out when he can't go where he needs to go.

So which one takes precedence?

I guess the real answer is to pray about it. It's a little too late for me to do that, because I have to pick my friend up in like 20 minutes and I already committed.

Have any of you ever had conflicting things like this before? What are your thoughts?

repentance, forgiveness, and grace

Yesterday I breached a friend's trust.

Today, I felt super guilty about it.

I just emailed him asking for forgiveness. But I still feel like a total jerk.

Several times I've had the interesting fortune to converse with non-LDS Christian friends about grace. A lot of non-Mormons seem to think that Mormons believe that we somehow "earn" heaven or something. That is not what we believe.

I loved this essay on the LDS view of grace by Brad Wilcox. Here's an excerpt that means a lot to me right this moment:

Elder Bruce C. Hafen (BA ’66) has written, “The great Mediator asks for our repentance not because we must ‘repay’ him in exchange for his paying our debt to justice, but because repentance initiates a developmental process that, with the Savior’s help, leads us along the path to a saintly character” (The Broken Heart [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1989], p. 149; emphasis in original).

Elder Dallin H. Oaks (BS ’54) has said, referring to President Spencer W. Kimball’s explanation, “The repenting sinner must suffer for his sins, but this suffering has a different purpose than punishment or payment. Its purpose is change” (The Lord’s Way [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1991], p. 223; emphasis in original). Let’s put this in terms of our analogy: The child must practice the piano, but this practice has a different purpose than punishment or payment. Its purpose is change.

I have born-again Christian friends who say to me, “You Mormons are trying to earn your way to heaven.”

I say, “No, we are not earning heaven. We are learning heaven. We are preparing for it (see D&C 78:7). We are practicing for it.”

They ask me, “Have you been saved by grace?”

I answer, “Yes. Absolutely, totally, completely, thankfully—yes!”

Then I ask them a question that perhaps they have not fully considered: “Have you been changed by grace?” They are so excited about being saved that maybe they are not thinking enough about what comes next. They are so happy the debt is paid that they may not have considered why the debt existed in the first place. Latter-day Saints know not only what Jesus has saved us from but also what He has saved us for. As my friend Brett C. Sanders (BS ’00) puts it, “A life impacted by grace eventually begins to look like Christ’s life.” As my friend Omar Canals shared with me, “While many Christians view Christ’s suffering as only a huge favor He did for us, Latter-day Saints also recognize it as a huge investment He made in us.” As Moroni puts it, grace isn’t just about being saved. It is also about becoming like the Savior (see Moro. 7:48).

Making mistakes is inevitable, but Christ paid for all of our mistakes. Through His Atonement, with His help, we are able to change and become more like Him. "Learn heaven," if you will. Become the kind of people who belong in God's presence.

Argh. Clearly I have a long way to go. But I'm grateful for repentance, for the Atonement, for Christ's grace and for the gift of prayer. And I'm grateful for my friend.

UPDATE: Another friend posted about this same kind of idea just a bit ago. I thought it was a good thought.

way cool infographic

Loved this. Very informative.

Source: mormonnewsroom.org via Allie on Pinterest

on knowing others and the self

I recently read a blog where a friend noticed that she and her boyfriend viewed things differently. They have different ideas about how things should work, and different thought processes, and she wondered if that was something wrong with her relationship.

Almost every day I am stricken with the idea that the people around me live lives that I can never comprehend. Even the people I know best--my mother, Heather, my husband--they all have thoughts I will never know, they will think things I will never get to hear, and they will process things and thoughts in ways I will never understand, in ways that could never make sense to me.

I'm reading a book by Orson Scott Card on characters in fiction, and he argues that characters are the reason we are driven to fiction: immersing oneself in the mind of a character in a book is the closest anyone can come to truly knowing another person. Fiction is as close as it gets to fully knowing and understanding another person's innermost thoughts and feelings and ideas.

I think he's right. I think that's why in a way fiction is very important: it is the one avenue through which we can all practice immersing ourselves in the soul of another. It is the only place we can pretend we really know someone other than ourselves.

So I will say--my husband and I have different thought processes. We filter things differently. There are things I am very into that Carl will probably just never get. And there are things he is very into that I will never get. And he is the one person in the world who knows me best, and I am the one person in the world who knows him best. If even we can't fully understand each other, who can really understand anybody? While it's true we've only been married for three years, the fact remains: even fifty years from now, I will not fully understand everything he's thinking, when he thinks it. And even if I did, I wouldn't know why he was thinking it.

This is part of what makes the Atonement of Jesus Christ so amazing. The Atonement, or At-One-Ment, gives Him insight into our souls that no one else is privy to. While Carl will never fully see things through the lens of my mind, Christ has and does and will. The Gospel of Jesus Christ never ceases to amaze me. The idea that Someone could fully understand me--and not just me, but you and everyone else on this planet--is miraculous and huge in a way that I cannot comprehend.

Anyway. Thoughts?

a day of miracles

Today was a day of miracles.

It all started when another darling friend named Emily--not the one who gave us the hat--invited me out to lunch. I wanted to go, but I had some errands to do beforehand. I hadn't gotten ready for the day at all, so I ran upstairs to put on REAL clothes (as in, not sweat pants). While I was up there, I found my phone, which I had misplaced earlier. My nana was calling.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Allie, honey, I'm in trouble," she said. She had fallen down at the mall and cut open her head.

Fortunately, Jacque and I were on our way out to do the errand anyway, so I just finished getting dressed and the two of us and our little babies were on the way to the mall in minutes. A lady was standing outside the mall waiting for me. Jacque was able to take the car as I ran out and assessed the situation.

Nana was sitting against the door, surrounded by blood. She was sitting kind of strangely and at first I assumed she had broken her foot or something too. But no, her foot was fine, and just her head was bleeding.

Bleeding like crazy.

We got her to the car and drove off to her doctor. She hadn't lost consciousness, and she was well enough to direct me to the doctor. We got there a few minutes later, but the doctor was out to lunch. We called the answering service but they weren't able to get through to the doctor.

We were going to just stand there and wait, but we decided to walk back to the car. On the way, we ran into the receptionist. She had "randomly" decided to come back a half hour early for lunch. I guess she assessed my nana's wound and announced that they were not qualified to deal with the problem. So they sent us to the local walk-in clinic.

Where we walked in, only to have the nurse pull off the bandage on Nana's head and gasp. Audibly. No, not audibly: freakin loudly. "You're gonna need a plastic surgeon!!! We can't deal with this here! You need the ER!" she squeaked shrilly. I was about ready to throttle her. She tried to throw the bloody bandage back on to shield her eyes from the wound, but Nana held out her hand.

"STOP," she said, strangely regal and commanding. "I want my granddaughter to see it."

So I braced myself and had a good look.

It looked as though when she landed on her head, the skin just split. The gash was in the shape of a star, with visible bone in the center.

I'm looking at her skull, I thought.

"How bad is it, Allie? Can't they just fix it here?"

Skull. Skull.

"Uh, you know, it's not TOO bad, but we should probably go to the ER," I said, grateful that I have probably seen worse on my brother James. "This clinic looks lame. If I were you, I'd want a real surgeon to fix it."

Nana sighed, and while she was getting her head rewrapped I called Grampy and told him to meet us at the emergency room.

Now, this whole time, Jacque was in the car with our two babies--two babies under 15 weeks. Nathaniel HATES the car he will usually just scream forever and ever, but instead, he just slept. Another miracle. And Jacque, the hero of the day, was able to take the car so I could just get out with Nana everywhere we went. It was amazing.

Also, even though my car wasn't totally empty in the morning, I felt like I should fill it on up (yet another divine intervention, I'm sure). We didn't have to worry about gas at all.

We went to the ER and got all checked in, and my mom and grandpa met us there. Carl was able to get off work early to help Grampy give Nana a blessing, and Jacque stayed with me while I went home to care for James.

At this point, the missionaries showed up at my mom's house! I'd left them a voicemail asking them to come to the ER to bless my nana, but they came to the house instead--and just in time. They got James off the bus for me and carried him from his wheelchair to the hospital bed in our living room.

Then hospice showed up, along with everyone from the ER, including Nana. She needed 30 stitches right on her eyebrow. Ow. But she was fine.

Basically, that is the long story of what happened. It felt like the whole day was set up from the beginning to handle my nana's fall. Everyone was in the right places at the right time to handle it all. The whole day I just felt so completely that God was watching us and making everything work out.

Other miracles that happened:

- Carl had a dental appt for later in the evening so he was already planning to come home early (unusual for him)

- We were uncrowded in the ER waiting room we went to

And I believe there are more but I can't think of them at this time. But let's just say, it was a day of miracles.

the worth of souls

The other night, I visited a friend and her mom. They asked how many kids I wanted. I said four or five (even though I wouldn't mind more. Or fewer). The mom looked shocked and asked why, if I felt like a particularly maternal person or something.

I told her that no, not really. I don't FEEL particularly maternal. Even though I've had roommates in college that would call me "Mom." She asked if I really like kids or something. The fact is, I don't like kids anymore than I like anyone else. I gave this really bizarre answer that even confused me, but this is what I MEANT to say:

I want a bunch of kids, biological or otherwise, because the worth of souls is great in the sight of God. That idea has colored everything about the way I view the world. It's not that I love kids: it's that I love people. And the best way to influence people is to influence children. A person's youth can define them for the rest of his or her life. And every person deserves a childhood that is full of love and security and peace. If I can provide that, I want to. And I want to do that for as many people as I can.

That's what I meant to say.

general conference thought: trials

I had a lot of thoughts from General Conference, but we might have to wait for most of them until the November Ensign comes out (with all the talks printed in it).

Baby D was sick all through Conference weekend. On Saturday night I had to suction out his nose like 5 times just so he could keep breathing, and then I did it all of Sunday, too. He hates getting his nose suctioned, a lot, but while he would wiggle until I got the piece in his nose, he would hold still for me to use it. At least, he would most of the time.

This year, one of the themes that stood out to me from Conference was the idea that trials are sent to make us better and stronger. They are for our good. This scripture in particular stood out to me over and over again (my emphasis in bold):

19 For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.

As I listened to one of the talks on this subject, I felt very clearly that sometimes, Heavenly Father just needs to suction out our proverbial noses. It's uncomfortable and gross to get out all the figurative goo from our lives, but it's worth it in the end. It makes everything easier.

That imagery is helping me understand my trials more clearly. I would never suction out Baby D's nose just for kicks; I only do it when he needs it, because I know he hates it. And even when he wiggles, I hold him still so I can get it done, because I know he will be happier once the discomfort is over with. He might cough and cry as I do it, even if he holds still, but once it's over, he can breathe freely and he's much happier.

It's the same with us. Heavenly Father doesn't send us trials that we don't need. And He would never send us any trial that were not ultimately for our greatest good. We might wiggle and cry and be uncomfortable or hurt, but in the end, once it's over with, it's made us better.

Easter program

As some of you know and most of you don't, I am the choir director for my ward. It's an interesting job. In the past I've always been the choir pianist/organist, and I always thought how I could be such an awesome choir director--and then I actually became one and realized that it's pretty hard to be a good choir director when the choir is non-audition and no one has any real reason to come to practice.

The past few months have been really hard for me. All my staple musicians either moved out of the ward, or were going to be out of town for Easter, so since February the choir has had like 5 people show up each week, and it was basically just hard and depressing.

BUT the Easter program went well! The choir sang "Were You There When They Crucified My Lord?" and "I Stand All Amazed." Also, I got to perform a piano/violin duet I wrote, with my BFF Julie. We had two Laurels come up and sing "O Savior Thou Who Wearest A Crown," and then one of our Beehives played an Easter song on her Irish harp (or whatever it's called). It was pretty nice. We had a lot of congregational hymns, and then in between, the bishop read excerpts from conference talks about the Atonement and the Resurrection.

Best part was when the bishop called me by my maiden name and mispronounced Julie's last name when we got up to perform our song. Ha!

The song we did was a mashup I wrote of "As Now We Take The Sacrament," "All Creatures of Our God and King," and one other Atonement-themed one that I can't remember now that it's all over. It ended on "All Creatures," which I thought was a nice way to end it. We just played the "Aleluia" sections over and over a few times, with varying bass lines for piano. I messed up a smidge at the tail end, but in my defense, I didn't write the piano part, so it was pretty much all memory, and sometimes memories fail ya when you're in the middle of a performance.

But I'm still way too lazy to actually write down the piano pieces I wrote on Finale. Even though I have SongWriter 2010, and even an electric piano to hook up to it to auto-write for me or whatever, it's still just takes so much time, I always procrastinate it forever.

But, I was thinking I should write out at least the past two piano/violin duets I've written, and I could put them up here in PDF format for download just so other musicians can use them. I had to write them because other arrangements I found were either too hard or too easy, and I think what Julie and I have come up with is pretty doable on short notice. We totally threw our Easter medley together in under 9 days (we are awesome).



Anyway, whew! Glad the Easter program is over! Now this ward choir director can chillax until Christmas. ^.~

an answered prayer!

I wanted to share this story with you guys.

As you know, my FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR is today--Tax Day! Typically it's the 15th, but due to stupid government things, it's the 18th of April this year.

Of course Carl and I put off doing our taxes, so on Thursday I decided I needed to get my act together and get all my forms in order.

I distinctly remembered gathering them all together to put them in my tax binder. But when I found my tax binder, it only had 2 of the... 6? 8? forms that we needed.

I freaked out.

I spent Thursday night looking. Friday night Carl and I went to see Atlas Shrugged (more on that later), and then I was up until midnight on Saturday looking. I tore everything apart.

Every few minutes during my searches I would offer up another prayer, because the power of prayer has always helped me find random stuff in the past. And each time I would say "amen," think of a new place to look, feel so confident I would find the dang forms, and then AH! They weren't there! But I kept on thinking of that scripture, "seek and ye shall find."

It was at midnight on Saturday that I remembered another scripture: "Be still and know that I am God." So I decided to take Him up on that. I got on my knees and I just laid it all out on the table. I said, "Heavenly Father, I need those tax forms and I have looked all over for them. I can't even think of another place to look. Send me those forms. Instead of having me look for them, bring them to me."

And then I just went to sleep.

Next day there was church, and then I had 4 hours between church and Ward Choir, and in between I had to practice practice practice my piano-violin duet I wrote for me and my friend to perform next week for Easter. At 5:30, Carl and I had a date with Turbo Tax and the hour was swiftly approaching.

And then, while I was practicing with my violinist friend, Carl came into the piano room with his arms full of forms. He had literally brought me the forms I prayed for.

It was really an amazing moment. I've been reveling in gratitude and awe ever since. Carl ended up finding them in a pile of junk in my handicapped brother's bedroom, which is basically a magnet for random things. I hadn't even thought to look there at all.

It was just crazy to me how I had specifically asked my forms to be brought to me, even knowing that it sounded silly at the time--but then my prayer was answered so literally, and just in the nick of time.

Prayer--specific prayer--works, guys!

FHE last night

Last night's FHE was on money. And actually, now that I think of it, we never had a closing prayer, so technically I guess FHE is STILL GOING!! Awesome!

I taught the lesson. It was on a scripture that I'd read earlier in the day on MoneySavingMom.com, Romans 13:8,which addresses the Biblical principle of "owing no man anything."

Earlier this year I had to go to a conference for my work, and the first lecture I had to attend was on Jews in literature (specifically, The Jew of Malta and The Merchant of Venice). One of the big deals the speakers made was on how at the time those plays were written, Jews were considered bad guys because they lent out money--and Christians were taught that borrowing money was essentially a sin. So they viewed the Jews as enabling Christian sin.

In our church we have a whole lot of ecclesiastical statements on debt, both temporal and spiritual. This article points out:

In 2 Kings 4:7 [2 Kgs. 4:7] we read, “Pay thy debt, and live,” and in Proverbs 22:7 [Prov. 22:7] we learn that “the borrower is servant to the lender.” The Apostle Paul instructed the Romans to “owe no man any thing” (Rom. 13:8), while in modern times the Savior counseled Martin Harris to “pay the debt thou hast contracted with the printer. Release thyself from bondage” (D&C 19:35).

Clearly scripture cautions us against incurring unnecessary debt. Modern prophets and apostles have echoed that plea (see accompanying statements on page 66). President Gordon B. Hinckley has said: “Reasonable debt for the purchase of an affordable home and perhaps for a few other necessary things is acceptable. But from where I sit, I see in a very vivid way the terrible tragedies of many who have unwisely borrowed for things they really do not need” (“I Believe,” Ensign, Aug. 1992, 6). To better understand the role of debt and interest charges in our lives, it may be helpful to consider what constitutes appropriate debt, why easy credit can become a trap, and how to create a personal plan to avoid debt.

That article also goes on to explain how interest works--the title is "Understanding Interest on Debt" and it's pretty informative (even though it was written in 1997).

Anyway, we didn't talk about that so much, but just the idea of the divine suggestion? commandment? to stay out of debt. We also studied Matthew 6:25-34 (which happens to include my favorite verse of all, Matthew 6:33). Basically the idea there is, as long as you're keeping the commandments--or seeking first the kingdom of heaven, as verse 33 puts it--God will make sure you're taken care of.

I know we'll be blessed for staying out of debt!

Conference!

This weekend was General Conference for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (the wikipedia article explaining it can be found here).

As Elder Holland explained in his address, General Conference is divinely inspired and designed to provide insight for anyone who is ready for it. [The videos and transcriptions of today's messages aren't up yet, but eventually I'll link them.] Anyway, I was once again very impressed by it. I definitely heard a bunch of stuff I needed to hear.

One of the big struggles I've been dealing with lately has boiled down to frustration: there are so many things I want to happen in my life right now, and it seems like every time something great comes around the corner, something awful happens just in time to foil everything. Over the past while I've gotten kinda bitter about it, not gonna lie--which is really too bad, and also kind of ridiculous. Several talks this Conference seemed like they were written just for me. The theme: God is the gardener, and sometimes He cuts us down to help us grow the way we need to.

Here, I'm going to tell you some stories.

Carl and I had been married for a few months and graduation was around the corner. We were trying to figure out what to do with ourselves after we graduated, and it seemed to me that grad school might not be a bad idea. There was an opening in the Plant and Wildlife Sciences Department for a masters/PhD student to do some particular research for the state of Utah, and it would have been come with not only a full scholarship, but also a generous stipend that would have covered all of my and Carl's expenses for the entirety of my career there.

So I got everything in order and applied. I felt really good about it.

A few weeks later, my pesticide professor called me into his office to discuss it. This was it! I was thrilled.

Until he told me the truth of why he'd called me in. "I just wanted to tell you that you could get into any program in the country," he told me. "You could study this at Harvard or wherever you wanted. Your grades and accomplishments would guarantee it. But," he said, and my heart dropped through the floor--"we're giving this position to someone else. But I wanted to tell you in person because it came down to the two of you, and you deserve to be here too."

Oh, writing that story is going to make me cry all over again. I was heartbroken. I cried for days and days over that. I just kept thinking--if I could get into any program in the country, THEN WHY DIDN'T I GET IN HERE?!?! It's not like BYU has a freaking amazing environmental sciences program. Why could I get into a better school, but not the only one I wanted to go to?

And so, with only a few more weeks left in the summer, Carl and I decided we would head out to Washington DC, to stay with my family until we found jobs. The night before we made the trek across the country, we got the phone call that my brother had broken his hip. And so we came home just in time to help my family with him, and the many, many, many incredible hardships and struggles that came along with his injury and subsequent surgeries and [nonexistent] recovery.

I've thought about that a lot. There have been so many things in my life that I wanted, and things came up just in time to foil all my dreams. In the case of my budding career as a soil chemist, when that abruptly ended, it was clear why: I needed to be elsewhere. It was not a mistake that I couldn't be allowed to follow that dream. I needed to be there for my family.

But not every situation like that is so clear. And at the same time, I'm very sure that James's struggles were not the only reason why I had to be precluded from devoting years of my life to the study of soils. There are many reasons for everything, and sometimes it just takes patience to see it all.

That's what I got out of Conference this time: that suffering and hardship are necessary because they make us better people. They change us from doing good to being good--if we let them.

One guy, I don't remember who right now, told a story about another guy who found a giant currant bush that was super tall, but not giving any fruit. In order to help the bush achieve its true purpose, the gardener guy cut the currant bush down to a few tiny branches. Little drops of water formed where he'd cut the branches down, and they reminded the gardener of tears. It seemed as though the currant bush were crying--hadn't it been growing so nicely? Wasn't it tall and beautiful?

Yes, the gardener conceded, except for one thing: it was a currant bush, and it should be growing currants. In a few years, it would thank him for the pain. It wasn't meant to be a shade tree, it was meant to bear fruit. The only way to help this plant achieve its true purpose was to cut it down. It would be painful, but that's the price it would have to pay to accomplish its purpose.

You should really watch that talk. It was fantastic. Again, I'll link it when everything comes up (all the conference talks will eventually be found here).

Anyway, sometimes God cuts us down in order to help us grow the way we need to. I know in my life, the most painful things I've had to go through have always turned out to be good for me.

So I'm glad I watched Conference this time around. There were some really beautiful thoughts expressed that really impacted me.

I'll link some videos as soon as they're up.

OTC- Introduction Points

The Introduction of the Old Testament Manual has several "Points to Ponder" at the bottom of the essay. I think they're worth blogging about.

(1-14) A frequently quoted scripture is Isaiah 55:8–9. Many times, however, we stop at those two verses and do not read them in their full context. Read now verses 10 and 11 . What does the Lord mean when He says His way of doing things is not like man’s? (Note especially v. 11 .) What does He mean when He says that His word “shall accomplish that which I please,” and how does that relate to the Old Testament? How would you now answer someone who says, “The Old Testament is too difficult; it needs to be simplified and made more plain”?

When I read Isaiah 55:8-9 in context this time, I was really struck by how loving the whole concept is. I'd always kind of read those verses as almost a warning. I guess because for me it's always come down to things like, we would pray for my brother to "get better," and then he wouldn't, and I would turn to those verses and never bother to read past them, or if I did, I never pondered them. They're way more comforting when you read them and realize that the Lord's ways are higher than our ways in that they always accomplish His purposes: and His purposes, at least in that verse, are compared to (and literally also involve) making the world beautiful. I love that idea. That God's ways are to make our world better.

In the context of the Old Testament, though, it says to me that perhaps the Old Testament isn't the thing that needs to be adjusted for us to understand it--we need to adjust our minds and hearts to understand it. Because God's ways are higher than our ways, and the Old Testament is how it is for a reason. So we can learn from it.

(1-15) Read again the second paragraph of Reading 1-3 and all of Reading 1-13 . Ponder for a moment how we put ourselves in the place of the ancients and let the scriptures “reach deep into our souls” (Larsen, in Jacob, The Message of the Old Testament, p. xxxvi). List some practical things you can do to apply this concept in your own life as you study the Old Testament. Is this application what Nephi meant by “liken[ing] all scriptures unto us” ( 1 Nephi 19:23 )?

The reading in 1-3 says, "The student who truly seeks to appreciate the Bible will study it always for the contribution of its message to our religious life today. It is not enough to be entertained by its stories unless these stories can reach deep into our souls to make better persons. The accounts in the Bible were preserved for the help which they can give to man in developing his faith in God and in following His teachings. The reader who misses the significance of Bible stories in present life is not a true student of the Bible."

1-13 states that one cannot truly understand the Old Testament without "putting ourselves in the place of the ancients as we read the scriptures."

To be honest, this is why for Sunday School I stopped going to Gospel Doctrine and started going to Gospel Principles instead. I've always felt that knowing the scriptures shouldn't be about stories or dates, it should be about the application of those things to our own lives. For me, Gospel Principles works better for that than Gospel Doctrine (or at least it has lately).

So... a list of practical things we can do to "liken the scriptures" to us. Here goes (and please add more! This is a hard list to come up with!):

- Go through each story with questions: why did these people act this way? Would I have done the same in their situation?

- Write down how the stories apply to us today. There is something profitable in every book of scripture that actively relates to life here and now, if we just look for it.

- Study the promises and covenants God makes with His people. How do they relate to the promises and covenants we make and benefit from today?

- Try to think metaphorically. One of the most eye-opening experiences I've had with scripture was when I was studying the Book of Jarom in the context of the war on terror. It was incredible and changed my whole perspective on the war. Don't worry, the whole book is only one chapter and it picks up in verse 6. But anyway, I think that most, if not all, the stories in the Old Testament have similar applications. And just as Jarom doesn't ONLY apply to the war on terror (it applies to every trial, I think), the stories in the Old Testament can apply to all sorts of situations if we choose to see them in those contexts.

Okay, this list was hard. Please comment with ideas.

(1-16) Moroni requested those who want to know for themselves the truthfulness of the gospel to “remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam” ( Moroni 10:3 ). Why did he make this request? What is there in the Old Testament message that is important for a person striving for a personal testimony? List four or five major practical concepts you could take from the Old Testament to learn to be a better Christian.

Okay, lots of questions here to answer. Hmm.

For a person striving for a personal testimony--well, it would help if there were clarification on what the person were trying to get a testimony OF, I think. But let's just assume the person wants a testimony of Jesus Christ: that He is our Savior and Redeemer of the world, that He loves us, that through Him all things are possible.

For a person striving to develop that kind of personal testimony... here are some major practical concepts you could take from the OT to be a better Christian:

- As the Introduction of the manual points out, a lot of people have a hard time with the God of the Old Testament--they think things like the flood show a vindictiveness that is wholly unlike the love and kindness shown by the God of the New Testament. But maybe one concept we can gain from the Old Testament is an understanding of that God is unchanging--like the Introduction mentioned, if God is unchanging, then He is just as loving and kind in the Old Testament as He is in the New Testament, and He is just as upset by sin in the New Testament as He is in the Old. This idea would help anyone become a better Christian because truly understanding it would entail understanding how upset God is when we knowingly break His commandments. If God is unchanging, while He is still as merciful as He is in the New Testament, He is also just as upset at our sins as He was in the Old Testament.

I think that idea furthers my understanding of Heavenly Father as a father. He is merciful and loving and kind--but that doesn't stop Him from being angry with us when we mess up sometimes, and it doesn't lower His expectations for us. It is possible for Him to love us, and want to forgive us, and also expect us to go through the same kind of trials as our Old Testament counterparts did during their repentance processes.

- I think at the same time, that idea of God being constant could help us as Christians to see past the meanness in the Old Testament to the kindness behind it. Example: people turn to the flood as an example of the Old Testament God's meanie vindictiveness. But in the New Testament, Christ explains the importance of repentance. If the world at the time of the flood was wholly populated by a bunch of wicked people who weren't going to repent, maybe the flood wasn't the mean thing to do--maybe it was the nice thing to do. When God flooded the earth, maybe it was an act of kindness, because ending the lives of bad guys prematurely meant they had less time to do bad things they weren't going to repent of (if that makes sense). I wonder how often in the Old Testament, things that seem mean externally are actually not. Maybe reading the Old Testament in the light of God's love for us can show us that even some of the worst trials and afflictions are really just signs of God's love, because they make us better, more worthy people and sometimes prevent us from making our lives worse.

Ah! Two more concepts! Help!

- There's the obvious concept that the stories and the events in the Old Testament can and do directly relate to our lives today. Fully understanding and internalizing that would make me a better Christian.

- Going back to Moroni 10:3 and the idea that we should ponder on the mercy of the Lord since Adam. Well, the Old Testament chronicles that mercy. Maybe this is a repeat of my second idea, but maybe as we look at the Old Testament events with an eye to how they evidence God's mercy, it can help us understand the merciful nature of God's whole Plan of Salvation more clearly. Interesting: at the link provided, it points out that some scriptures call the Plan of Salvation the Plan of Mercy.

(1-17) President Spencer W. Kimball admonished:

“I urge all of the people of this church to give serious attention to their family histories, to encourage their parents and grandparents to write their journals, and let no family go into eternity without having left their memoirs for their children, their grandchildren, and their posterity. This is a duty and a responsibility, and I urge every person to start the children out writing a personal history and journal.” ( “The True Way of Life and Salvation,” Ensign, May 1978, p. 4 .)

If you have not already begun to keep your personal journal, now is an excellent time to do so. Make your study of the Old Testament a part of your journal. Record special insights, things that impress you, or just the feelings you may have as you study. You will find your study of the Old Testament greatly enhanced by your journal keeping and your journal keeping greatly enhanced by your study of the Old Testament.

Done and done!

Tomorrow's reading: Genesis 1-2, The Creation