Okay.
For the past six weeks, my friend and I have been doing Insanity with Shawn T. The workout. Let me tell you, after three weeks of that, Jillian Michaels is like a joke. Anyway.
We've noticed ourselves getting a lot stronger, and we've noticed more definition in our arms and legs, but for both of us it seems that our abdomens have actually gotten flabbier.
Technically this can't possibly be true (right?) because I know for a fact that our ab muscles are stronger now. However, they are actually getting bigger instead of smaller, if that makes sense.
My friend had a C-section three months ago and I delivered vaginally four months ago. Anyone know why ab work is making our abs bigger instead of smaller?
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Friday, November 11, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
on food, UPDATED
UPDATE: This post posted prematurely due to my weird computer doing bizarre things I don't understand! But I finished it. Here it is, finished.
Over the past week, I've found myself redefining my relationship with food.
Food is a funny thing. We all need it. There isn't anyone alive who doesn't eat, who doesn't need to eat to live. Sorry to be controversial, but the Breatharians are lying! We all eat.
But we all eat different things. And in different amounts. And at different times. We've got vegans and vegetarians and fruitarians and straight up carnivores and people who only eat at Subway and people who only eat at McDonald's. Then you have the people with eating disorders: people with bulemia and anorexia nervosa and compulsive overeating.
The way we relate to food really colors our entire lives.
A few days ago I was watching one of my friends eat--we were eating together, PS, I don't just like watch people eat--and I noticed how when everyone else got up for seconds, including me, she didn't. She just wasn't hungry for more.
That was the first time it ever occurred to me that I, myself, might eat more than I need to at mealtimes, just because. Maybe that makes me stupid, that I never thought about it before. But oh well. I'm twenty-three years old and I just realized that at dinnertime, I usually eat more than I need.
And then I came across an article in the NYT about how junk food is actually way more expensive than home-cooked food, despite the rumors to the contrary. Honestly, I'd heard the same lines over and over myself: that junk food is far cheaper than healthful food. But it turns out, that's a LIE! And when you think about it, of course it's a lie. You can make healthy food for cheap, if you actually bother to make it.
I know in my life, I've had strange relationships with food in the past. For the first six months of my first pregnancy, I couldn't keep down a single meal, pretty much. I lost 15 lbs from the whole ordeal. I had to force myself to eat in the hopes that my body would absorb a few nutrients before the morning-afternoon-night sickness kicked in.
In high school, since my schedule was jam-packed from 5:45 am until 9 pm at night, with literally no breaks (I skipped lunch to take extra class... yeah. not my whole high school career, but a significant portion of it), I would do nothing but eat from 4:45 am until 5:45 am. Then I would snack a little around 1 pm in between classes. That was pretty much how I dealt with food. Tons and tons of food in the morning, and then nothing all day.
Then I went to college, and had an opposite problem: as the opening baker, I had to be up too early to eat before going to work (on campus, the cafeteria wasn't open when I left... for obvious reasons. I was the one opening it, basically). So I had to put off eating until the afternoon, and that changed up all my eating habits, also for obvious reasons.
One year for Lent I gave up sweets: chocolate, sugar-based things like cake and cookies, anything with corn syrup in the first five ingredients. For the first week it was killer but then after that it was so easy. I was going to do it forever but a few weeks after Lent I got back into my old habits. A few candies was all it took to bring back the "need" for them in my life again.
I've always had the problem of when I get super stressed, I stop feeling hungry--but then I force myself to eat more than I need, because I know starving isn't healthy but I can't always sense when my body is satiated.
Now that I'm a stay at home person, it's both surprisingly easy and surprisingly hard to eat whenever I want. Most of the time when I'm hungry, it feels like, Nathaniel gets hungry too, and he comes first most of the time. So there are days when I spend all my time nursing and don't get my first meal in until the afternoon, sometimes even late afternoon. On the other hand, I am the captain of my day now, and if I wanted to tell my baby to suck it up and take a binky, I could probably spend the whole day eating if I wanted to.
Food is complicated.
Our relationships to it are complicated. And even worse (or better?), they change over time. It's kind of like reading your scriptures every day. Some weeks, or months or years, you can be really good at daily scripture study. And then sometimes you lapse and forget to be intentional about it, and the lapse can last just as long as the disciplined times did. With food, sometimes we're good about it, and sometimes we're not. As we saw in the last season of The Biggest Loser, a person can go from being an Olympic athlete to being hundreds of pounds overweight in a single lifetime. That is amazing to me. Every person has the potential to go to extremes with food. Just because you took care of your eating habits for the first 25 years of your life is no guarantee that you'll continue for the next 25.
This whole synchronicity of food thoughts popping up in my life has got me thinking: I'm going to be more intentional about what I eat. I'll let you know how it goes.
Thoughts, anyone? Do you have any thoughts about food you'd like to share?
Over the past week, I've found myself redefining my relationship with food.
Food is a funny thing. We all need it. There isn't anyone alive who doesn't eat, who doesn't need to eat to live. Sorry to be controversial, but the Breatharians are lying! We all eat.
But we all eat different things. And in different amounts. And at different times. We've got vegans and vegetarians and fruitarians and straight up carnivores and people who only eat at Subway and people who only eat at McDonald's. Then you have the people with eating disorders: people with bulemia and anorexia nervosa and compulsive overeating.
The way we relate to food really colors our entire lives.
A few days ago I was watching one of my friends eat--we were eating together, PS, I don't just like watch people eat--and I noticed how when everyone else got up for seconds, including me, she didn't. She just wasn't hungry for more.
That was the first time it ever occurred to me that I, myself, might eat more than I need to at mealtimes, just because. Maybe that makes me stupid, that I never thought about it before. But oh well. I'm twenty-three years old and I just realized that at dinnertime, I usually eat more than I need.
And then I came across an article in the NYT about how junk food is actually way more expensive than home-cooked food, despite the rumors to the contrary. Honestly, I'd heard the same lines over and over myself: that junk food is far cheaper than healthful food. But it turns out, that's a LIE! And when you think about it, of course it's a lie. You can make healthy food for cheap, if you actually bother to make it.
I know in my life, I've had strange relationships with food in the past. For the first six months of my first pregnancy, I couldn't keep down a single meal, pretty much. I lost 15 lbs from the whole ordeal. I had to force myself to eat in the hopes that my body would absorb a few nutrients before the morning-afternoon-night sickness kicked in.
In high school, since my schedule was jam-packed from 5:45 am until 9 pm at night, with literally no breaks (I skipped lunch to take extra class... yeah. not my whole high school career, but a significant portion of it), I would do nothing but eat from 4:45 am until 5:45 am. Then I would snack a little around 1 pm in between classes. That was pretty much how I dealt with food. Tons and tons of food in the morning, and then nothing all day.
Then I went to college, and had an opposite problem: as the opening baker, I had to be up too early to eat before going to work (on campus, the cafeteria wasn't open when I left... for obvious reasons. I was the one opening it, basically). So I had to put off eating until the afternoon, and that changed up all my eating habits, also for obvious reasons.
One year for Lent I gave up sweets: chocolate, sugar-based things like cake and cookies, anything with corn syrup in the first five ingredients. For the first week it was killer but then after that it was so easy. I was going to do it forever but a few weeks after Lent I got back into my old habits. A few candies was all it took to bring back the "need" for them in my life again.
I've always had the problem of when I get super stressed, I stop feeling hungry--but then I force myself to eat more than I need, because I know starving isn't healthy but I can't always sense when my body is satiated.
Now that I'm a stay at home person, it's both surprisingly easy and surprisingly hard to eat whenever I want. Most of the time when I'm hungry, it feels like, Nathaniel gets hungry too, and he comes first most of the time. So there are days when I spend all my time nursing and don't get my first meal in until the afternoon, sometimes even late afternoon. On the other hand, I am the captain of my day now, and if I wanted to tell my baby to suck it up and take a binky, I could probably spend the whole day eating if I wanted to.
Food is complicated.
Our relationships to it are complicated. And even worse (or better?), they change over time. It's kind of like reading your scriptures every day. Some weeks, or months or years, you can be really good at daily scripture study. And then sometimes you lapse and forget to be intentional about it, and the lapse can last just as long as the disciplined times did. With food, sometimes we're good about it, and sometimes we're not. As we saw in the last season of The Biggest Loser, a person can go from being an Olympic athlete to being hundreds of pounds overweight in a single lifetime. That is amazing to me. Every person has the potential to go to extremes with food. Just because you took care of your eating habits for the first 25 years of your life is no guarantee that you'll continue for the next 25.
This whole synchronicity of food thoughts popping up in my life has got me thinking: I'm going to be more intentional about what I eat. I'll let you know how it goes.
Thoughts, anyone? Do you have any thoughts about food you'd like to share?
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Twelve weeks!
Nathaniel was 12 weeks old yesterday--which means it's been 12 weeks since I gave birth. If I were working, that would mean my maternity leave would be up. I can't imagine leaving him every day to work. I don't think I could do it. I am the only person I could trust to bring him up with all the love and support he needs.
My recovery has been all right. I have learned not to judge the fashion of brand new moms as much as I used to. Going shopping has been extremely, extremely depressing. Nothing I used to wear fits like it did before, and a lot of stuff I can't even fit into. I'm almost back to my pre-pregnancy weight but my body is shaped differently than it was a year ago.
One of the worst things has been my post-pregnancy stomach. No one told me that after the baby comes out and the excess water and goo comes out, you're stuck with stretched out skin. It's SO hard to find pants that fit, because of that stretchy skin. I'm back into my normal 4/6's, but they fit strangely. I really don't know what to do about it.
Twelve weeks after birth, I'm back into working out: some friends have been doing the Insanity workout with us every night. So I (and all of them!) are extremely sore. It's sad because the workout is supposed to be done centered around your core, but my core just got stretched out for 9 months and is still getting back to where it used to be, so I am basically a workout wimp. For good reasons. But I hope to get normal abs back soon.
We've slipped into kind of a routine: every day Nathaniel and I get up to drive Carl to the Metro, and then we come home and I clean things or work on projects or read until the baby falls asleep, and then usually I try to fall asleep too, since I don't get tons of sleep at night. Even if he doesn't wake up hungry I wake up wanting to feed him. Then at 2:30 we go over to my mom's house to get my older brother off the bus, and we take care of him until my mom or dad gets home. Then we're off to pick up Carl again, make dinner, and finish cleaning or projects before bed.
Life with my silly baby is way better than it was before. I thought being married was the best thing--and it partially is--but being married with a kid is even better. My opinion twelve weeks in.
My recovery has been all right. I have learned not to judge the fashion of brand new moms as much as I used to. Going shopping has been extremely, extremely depressing. Nothing I used to wear fits like it did before, and a lot of stuff I can't even fit into. I'm almost back to my pre-pregnancy weight but my body is shaped differently than it was a year ago.
One of the worst things has been my post-pregnancy stomach. No one told me that after the baby comes out and the excess water and goo comes out, you're stuck with stretched out skin. It's SO hard to find pants that fit, because of that stretchy skin. I'm back into my normal 4/6's, but they fit strangely. I really don't know what to do about it.
Twelve weeks after birth, I'm back into working out: some friends have been doing the Insanity workout with us every night. So I (and all of them!) are extremely sore. It's sad because the workout is supposed to be done centered around your core, but my core just got stretched out for 9 months and is still getting back to where it used to be, so I am basically a workout wimp. For good reasons. But I hope to get normal abs back soon.
We've slipped into kind of a routine: every day Nathaniel and I get up to drive Carl to the Metro, and then we come home and I clean things or work on projects or read until the baby falls asleep, and then usually I try to fall asleep too, since I don't get tons of sleep at night. Even if he doesn't wake up hungry I wake up wanting to feed him. Then at 2:30 we go over to my mom's house to get my older brother off the bus, and we take care of him until my mom or dad gets home. Then we're off to pick up Carl again, make dinner, and finish cleaning or projects before bed.
Life with my silly baby is way better than it was before. I thought being married was the best thing--and it partially is--but being married with a kid is even better. My opinion twelve weeks in.
Monday, July 11, 2011
not in labor!!
So apparently a rumor has begun that I am in labor!
IT IS NOT TRUE. Or if it is true, I am in labor with precisely zero contractions!
I was contracting regularly earlier today, but that ended about 4 hours ago. And by regularly I don't mean close enough for it to count really. Just like every 8-10 minutes or something. Possibly further apart than that. I didn't bother timing because I could walk and talk right through them.
Induction is scheduled for 7 am tomorrow, but it may be later than that--I have to call at 6 am to make sure a golden horde of pregnant ladies hasn't descended upon the maternity ward overnight, but assuming that hasn't happened, they will hopefully have a spot for me.
Only three people are allowed in the room at a time--so that would be me, Carl, and the midwife or nurse. After the baby is born, we plan to nurse immediately, and do that whole bonding thing, and then let him be bathed and everything. THEN family members are allowed to come see him in the mother-baby section of the hospital. Assuming that that all happens and leaves time for visiting hours at the end of the day. Otherwise, family can see Baby D on Wednesday.
Everyone else, I'll have to let you know how I feel. Maybe you can see him that evening, or else on Thursday--or maybe I might make you wait a little longer than that. Don't worry, in the words of my darling eBFF, he will still look like a newborn chicken monkey for a few days after he's born. :o)
IT IS NOT TRUE. Or if it is true, I am in labor with precisely zero contractions!
I was contracting regularly earlier today, but that ended about 4 hours ago. And by regularly I don't mean close enough for it to count really. Just like every 8-10 minutes or something. Possibly further apart than that. I didn't bother timing because I could walk and talk right through them.
Induction is scheduled for 7 am tomorrow, but it may be later than that--I have to call at 6 am to make sure a golden horde of pregnant ladies hasn't descended upon the maternity ward overnight, but assuming that hasn't happened, they will hopefully have a spot for me.
Only three people are allowed in the room at a time--so that would be me, Carl, and the midwife or nurse. After the baby is born, we plan to nurse immediately, and do that whole bonding thing, and then let him be bathed and everything. THEN family members are allowed to come see him in the mother-baby section of the hospital. Assuming that that all happens and leaves time for visiting hours at the end of the day. Otherwise, family can see Baby D on Wednesday.
Everyone else, I'll have to let you know how I feel. Maybe you can see him that evening, or else on Thursday--or maybe I might make you wait a little longer than that. Don't worry, in the words of my darling eBFF, he will still look like a newborn chicken monkey for a few days after he's born. :o)
Sunday, July 10, 2011
remembering divine timing
I actually went to sacrament meeting today, for the first time in maybe 3 weeks? I was awake and felt well enough to at least walk around from the car to the chapel, so I figured, I'd better go. I was very grateful for the opportunity to take the sacrament. Plus the speakers were a couple new to our ward, and it turns out they are from the very town in Idaho where I did all my potato research in college! Ah, the joys of being an eSci major.
Gotta love those potatoes.
Still no baby. I have actually had some legit contractions--yesterday I had them for a minute each, five minutes apart, for almost an hour. BUT of course then instead of getting closer together, they started getting to be seven minutes apart, then eight, and then POOF. Gone. It was fairly disheartening. Today I have had similar contractions about once and sometimes twice an hour. I'm assuming they're legit contractions because they involve lower back ache and a tightening like pain in the pelvic floor.
This reminds me that I researched last night and discovered that all the weird popping and clicking noises I hear from my womb may actually be my silly baby popping/cracking his knuckles and joints. Isn't that funny? I know both my mom and I have ankles that click/pop all the time, and I realize now that his clicks and pops all come from right around where his feet are.
I just hope he's not also flatfooted and pronated. :^/
Anyway, the point of this was that last night while I was extremely emotionally distraught over this whole lateness issue, I was praying and felt impressed to make a list of all the good and legitimate reasons why he could be late. [Incidentally, one annoying thing that came to mind was that I had prayed that my hair would be long enough such that I wouldn't be completely embarrassed to take pictures with my newborn--and just in the past 2 days it's gotten to the point where I'm not ashamed to exist with my pseudo Beiber 'do. Guess I shouldn't have prayed for that!]
Today I wrote down a bunch of those reasons in my journal, and just remembered once again how so many times in my life, things I thought were the end of the world were actually preparations for something else.
For example, the story I already wrote here, about the time my dreams of being a soil chemist were destroyed upon the cruel rocks of Fate. It seemed so awful that I should get so far in my chosen field, and then be rejected for no good reason at all--but then, my brother broke his hip and we needed to be in Maryland anyway. If I'd gotten into the program, I couldn't have been around for my family.
So anyway, the point is--I'm sure there's a good reason Baby D is SO LATE. Heavenly Father doesn't goof on timing. :^/
Gotta love those potatoes.
Still no baby. I have actually had some legit contractions--yesterday I had them for a minute each, five minutes apart, for almost an hour. BUT of course then instead of getting closer together, they started getting to be seven minutes apart, then eight, and then POOF. Gone. It was fairly disheartening. Today I have had similar contractions about once and sometimes twice an hour. I'm assuming they're legit contractions because they involve lower back ache and a tightening like pain in the pelvic floor.
This reminds me that I researched last night and discovered that all the weird popping and clicking noises I hear from my womb may actually be my silly baby popping/cracking his knuckles and joints. Isn't that funny? I know both my mom and I have ankles that click/pop all the time, and I realize now that his clicks and pops all come from right around where his feet are.
I just hope he's not also flatfooted and pronated. :^/
Anyway, the point of this was that last night while I was extremely emotionally distraught over this whole lateness issue, I was praying and felt impressed to make a list of all the good and legitimate reasons why he could be late. [Incidentally, one annoying thing that came to mind was that I had prayed that my hair would be long enough such that I wouldn't be completely embarrassed to take pictures with my newborn--and just in the past 2 days it's gotten to the point where I'm not ashamed to exist with my pseudo Beiber 'do. Guess I shouldn't have prayed for that!]
Today I wrote down a bunch of those reasons in my journal, and just remembered once again how so many times in my life, things I thought were the end of the world were actually preparations for something else.
For example, the story I already wrote here, about the time my dreams of being a soil chemist were destroyed upon the cruel rocks of Fate. It seemed so awful that I should get so far in my chosen field, and then be rejected for no good reason at all--but then, my brother broke his hip and we needed to be in Maryland anyway. If I'd gotten into the program, I couldn't have been around for my family.
So anyway, the point is--I'm sure there's a good reason Baby D is SO LATE. Heavenly Father doesn't goof on timing. :^/
Friday, July 8, 2011
everything update
I started taking the castor oil last night at midnight. I was supposed to wait until morning, but what I realized around 11:45 pm is that I am really, really awesome at dreading things. I'm not typically afraid of things, but I'm really good at dreading them. I read a great article once about the difference between fear and dread, and while I'm not afraid of much, I can dread things freakishly well.
I was dreading that stupid oil. So I just got up, and started taking it. Since I was going to dread it all night anyway, figured I might as well.
Of course, it was super nasty. I took doses at midnight, 1, 4, 5, 6, and 7. It was pretty gross. I don't recommend it.
I thought it increased my BH contractions, and for a while there this morning I felt some lower back pain and a few almost painful contractions. So I had hope.
I had an ultrasound appointment at 2:30, so I walked there. It was maybe a 20 minute walk. I hoped that the walking would do something, but no.
The ultrasound lady felt really bad for me and gave me two pictures of Baby D, which hopefully I won't need to post because we'll have real pictures of his external self soon enough. But anyway, it was good to know that he's still measuring big. As in, the docs think he's just barely 41 weeks, but he measures at almost 42.
This is not actually that awesome, except that it does validate my belief that he was supposed to be here sooner than he has been.
He was very wiggly, which the ultrasound lady said meant that he wasn't settling down to be born yet. :^(
SETTLE DOWN, KID!
BE BORN!!!
I was dreading that stupid oil. So I just got up, and started taking it. Since I was going to dread it all night anyway, figured I might as well.
Of course, it was super nasty. I took doses at midnight, 1, 4, 5, 6, and 7. It was pretty gross. I don't recommend it.
I thought it increased my BH contractions, and for a while there this morning I felt some lower back pain and a few almost painful contractions. So I had hope.
I had an ultrasound appointment at 2:30, so I walked there. It was maybe a 20 minute walk. I hoped that the walking would do something, but no.
The ultrasound lady felt really bad for me and gave me two pictures of Baby D, which hopefully I won't need to post because we'll have real pictures of his external self soon enough. But anyway, it was good to know that he's still measuring big. As in, the docs think he's just barely 41 weeks, but he measures at almost 42.
This is not actually that awesome, except that it does validate my belief that he was supposed to be here sooner than he has been.
He was very wiggly, which the ultrasound lady said meant that he wasn't settling down to be born yet. :^(
SETTLE DOWN, KID!
BE BORN!!!
Thursday, July 7, 2011
new induction date
Just got off the phone with the midwife. My new induction date is July 12.
Yesterday she suggested that if nothing had happened by tomorrow, to drink some castor oil. :^/ I'm not super thrilled about the idea but I guess that's better than getting shot up with pitocin or whatever.
Baby D dropped further yesterday, I noticed. By the end of the day he was a full centimeter lower than he had been in the morning.
I have an ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow afternoon to make sure the amniotic fluid levels are okay.
Other than that. Just chillin in bed, trying to decide if I should go bounce on my birth ball, or take a nap. Decisions, decisions....
Yesterday she suggested that if nothing had happened by tomorrow, to drink some castor oil. :^/ I'm not super thrilled about the idea but I guess that's better than getting shot up with pitocin or whatever.
Baby D dropped further yesterday, I noticed. By the end of the day he was a full centimeter lower than he had been in the morning.
I have an ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow afternoon to make sure the amniotic fluid levels are okay.
Other than that. Just chillin in bed, trying to decide if I should go bounce on my birth ball, or take a nap. Decisions, decisions....
the productive day
Yesterday was a crazily productive day. Since my due date, I've pretty much done as little as possible, but yesterday when my body woke me up at 5 am, I decided to just go with it and get some stuff done.
Dishes, laundry, cleaning floors, hanging art, organizing rooms, taking things to the recycling. And then we went to the midwife! I had to be there at 2:45 for my 3:30 appointment. I ended up leaving the office at 4:15.
The stress test showed that Baby D is doing just fine, which is good. Also showed that my contractions are still irregular, which is less good. The cervical exam showed that I am STILL only 2 cm dilated and 50% effaced. Still. After a full week. X.x;;;;;;
In the evening Carl and I did acupressure while we watched So You Think You Can Dance. Here is my favorite dance of the evening (dance starts at 3:20):
Also another favorite dance (starts at 3:10):
Dishes, laundry, cleaning floors, hanging art, organizing rooms, taking things to the recycling. And then we went to the midwife! I had to be there at 2:45 for my 3:30 appointment. I ended up leaving the office at 4:15.
The stress test showed that Baby D is doing just fine, which is good. Also showed that my contractions are still irregular, which is less good. The cervical exam showed that I am STILL only 2 cm dilated and 50% effaced. Still. After a full week. X.x;;;;;;
In the evening Carl and I did acupressure while we watched So You Think You Can Dance. Here is my favorite dance of the evening (dance starts at 3:20):
Also another favorite dance (starts at 3:10):
Monday, July 4, 2011
patience
The past few days have been an exercise in patience.
[Still no baby.]
Two days ago, I felt that I should concentrate my scripture study on the book of Ecclesiastes, which I haven't read/studied in a while. Over the past two days, I've been looking at it, and I didn't really see why it was so important to study at first.
Today, I studied over breakfast. I'd been reading the book all the way through, and I finally was at Ecclesiastes 11. This is the text of Ecclesiastes 11:5:
I'm pretty sure that verse is why I needed to read Ecclesiastes again.
It kind of reminds me of this sentiment from 1 Nephi, which I have always loved:
Two weeks ago today Carl gave me a priesthood blessing for the birth and it counseled me to be patient. Waiting has been pretty lame (obviously). But the experience is teaching me to turn more readily to the scriptures for answers--and to trust that even though I don't know the meaning of all things, I know that God loves His children, and He doesn't make mistakes. This silly baby will be born when he's ready. I know God's watching out for him, and for me. This is all for the best.
[Still no baby.]
Two days ago, I felt that I should concentrate my scripture study on the book of Ecclesiastes, which I haven't read/studied in a while. Over the past two days, I've been looking at it, and I didn't really see why it was so important to study at first.
Today, I studied over breakfast. I'd been reading the book all the way through, and I finally was at Ecclesiastes 11. This is the text of Ecclesiastes 11:5:
As thou knowest not what is the way of the spirit, nor how the bones do grow in the womb of her that is with child: even so thou knowest not the works of God who maketh all.
I'm pretty sure that verse is why I needed to read Ecclesiastes again.
It kind of reminds me of this sentiment from 1 Nephi, which I have always loved:
And he said unto me: Knowest thou the condescension of God?
And I said unto him: I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things.
Two weeks ago today Carl gave me a priesthood blessing for the birth and it counseled me to be patient. Waiting has been pretty lame (obviously). But the experience is teaching me to turn more readily to the scriptures for answers--and to trust that even though I don't know the meaning of all things, I know that God loves His children, and He doesn't make mistakes. This silly baby will be born when he's ready. I know God's watching out for him, and for me. This is all for the best.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
a july baby after all; also, earworm
Since it is 8:42 pm on the last day of June and I have not yet gone into labor, I will go out on a limb and declare that Baby D will be a July baby after all.
The midwife today took FOREVER. My appointment was at 2, but I didn't get to see her until 3. And when we finally got back to the car, it was 3:45.
At that time, she pronounced Baby D as having dropped (hooray!!), and we did a cervical exam. At that time, I was dilated to a two. She offered to strip my membranes (and I let her). It was the weirdest feeling. It didn't hurt, but it just felt so weird all I could do was laugh and laugh. I think it really shook her, metaphorically speaking, because she kept looking so bemused every time I would laugh.
Anyway, that was weird, and I'm glad it's over.
I have gotten an average of 3 hours of sleep every night for the past few days. A total of 9 hours of sleep since Monday. I feel pretty functional, but sometimes (like now!) the fatigue really sets in, and I realize I would love to sleep--except Baby D is positioned in such a way that the only way I can sleep now is with his feet digging into the bed (yes, through my skin, and it is distracting and uncomfortable). Also all that relaxin stuff makes my body do dumb things every time I lay down (like go numb, etc).
So I would say I am ready for this kid to be born. 7/1/11 would not be a bad birthdate.
Wow, writing about being tired made me like 67 zillion times more tired than I was when I sat down to write this.
Anyway, other dumb story for the day--yesterday, like 4 people called my phone. As an aside, I hate phones a lot. But anyway, all these people called, and as a result, I developed an earworm of my ringtone.
This was awful because my ringtone wasn't a song or something: it was just buzzes and dings. Also, my earworms are not like other people's earworms, I'm pretty sure, because I have strong relative pitch (not quite perfect pitch, but I'm usually within a tone), and also I have auditory hallucinations, and have had them at least since I was four years old, which is my first memory of hearing music that wasn't there.
Let's just say, my earworms are intense.
And so for the past... 35 hours? I have literally heard my phone going off constantly. Without a break. In fact, I can hear it right now. I changed the ringtone on it so I would stop tearing apart the house and my purse for the stupid thing. Ugh.
Oh my gosh. What if I go into labor with that stupid ringtone distracting me the whole time?!!?
AH!
Okay, off to my guitar--I have discovered that when I'm actively involved with other music, my brain stops playing the stupid ringtone for a while. If you run out of things to pray for, you can feel free to pray for Baby D to decide to be born already, and also for my dumb brain to quit it with the ringtone already.
The midwife today took FOREVER. My appointment was at 2, but I didn't get to see her until 3. And when we finally got back to the car, it was 3:45.
At that time, she pronounced Baby D as having dropped (hooray!!), and we did a cervical exam. At that time, I was dilated to a two. She offered to strip my membranes (and I let her). It was the weirdest feeling. It didn't hurt, but it just felt so weird all I could do was laugh and laugh. I think it really shook her, metaphorically speaking, because she kept looking so bemused every time I would laugh.
Anyway, that was weird, and I'm glad it's over.
I have gotten an average of 3 hours of sleep every night for the past few days. A total of 9 hours of sleep since Monday. I feel pretty functional, but sometimes (like now!) the fatigue really sets in, and I realize I would love to sleep--except Baby D is positioned in such a way that the only way I can sleep now is with his feet digging into the bed (yes, through my skin, and it is distracting and uncomfortable). Also all that relaxin stuff makes my body do dumb things every time I lay down (like go numb, etc).
So I would say I am ready for this kid to be born. 7/1/11 would not be a bad birthdate.
Wow, writing about being tired made me like 67 zillion times more tired than I was when I sat down to write this.
Anyway, other dumb story for the day--yesterday, like 4 people called my phone. As an aside, I hate phones a lot. But anyway, all these people called, and as a result, I developed an earworm of my ringtone.
This was awful because my ringtone wasn't a song or something: it was just buzzes and dings. Also, my earworms are not like other people's earworms, I'm pretty sure, because I have strong relative pitch (not quite perfect pitch, but I'm usually within a tone), and also I have auditory hallucinations, and have had them at least since I was four years old, which is my first memory of hearing music that wasn't there.
Let's just say, my earworms are intense.
And so for the past... 35 hours? I have literally heard my phone going off constantly. Without a break. In fact, I can hear it right now. I changed the ringtone on it so I would stop tearing apart the house and my purse for the stupid thing. Ugh.
Oh my gosh. What if I go into labor with that stupid ringtone distracting me the whole time?!!?
AH!
Okay, off to my guitar--I have discovered that when I'm actively involved with other music, my brain stops playing the stupid ringtone for a while. If you run out of things to pray for, you can feel free to pray for Baby D to decide to be born already, and also for my dumb brain to quit it with the ringtone already.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
things i will miss after pregnancy
[Hint: that means I am STILL PREGNANT! No baby yet.]
1. Feeling Baby D go crazy when I play the guitar and sing. I imagine it must be pretty overwhelming to both hear and feel the music from all directions. Pretty cool.
2. I would say sleep, but already my body has stopped letting me sleep.
3.
...
....
...
Okay! That's about the end of the list. Can't wait to not be pregnant anymore. I don't know how much longer my body can take it. Three days ago I thought I could take this for another week or two if I had to, but today I know better than that.
Just kidding, I am sure I could still endure for another few weeks if I had to--but please, please, please let that not be the case. :^/
1. Feeling Baby D go crazy when I play the guitar and sing. I imagine it must be pretty overwhelming to both hear and feel the music from all directions. Pretty cool.
2. I would say sleep, but already my body has stopped letting me sleep.
3.
...
....
...
Okay! That's about the end of the list. Can't wait to not be pregnant anymore. I don't know how much longer my body can take it. Three days ago I thought I could take this for another week or two if I had to, but today I know better than that.
Just kidding, I am sure I could still endure for another few weeks if I had to--but please, please, please let that not be the case. :^/
Monday, June 27, 2011
why I wasn't at church yesterday
Yesterday I didn't go to church, for reasons which I will soon explain. I knew at the time that by not going I would be opening up the most annoying can of worms ever, but I really just couldn't do it, and ever since, Carl and I have been dealing with everyone in the world wanting to know if the baby has been born.
The answer is: NO!!!
No baby.
I woke up yesterday feeling a strange pain in my upper left abdomen. It hurt to move, so I didn't. At that point, my right wrist went numb, and the numbness spread up my arm. Shortly after that, my left leg went numb, starting from the ankle. I decided that I must have been experiencing a mondo dose of relaxin, which would have the potential to cause my carpal tunnels (which are already compromised from years of music) to collapse, as well as their equivalent in my [severely pronated] ankles.
Finally, utilizing self control of Herculean proportion, I forced myself out of bed to go get dressed (Carl was at a bishopric meeting, so he couldn't help).
I got dressed, still with weird side pain and numbness. Finally Carl got home, and I explained to him what was going on. At this point, I started crying--not out of pain or stress or anything. It just felt like my eyes wanted to cry, so I just let them. It was very strange. Kind of like when your eyes leak from allergies, but this was definitely crying. It just had no emotional reason.
And then I got really really tired and went upstairs to sleep. At this point, church had begun, and shortly thereafter, the phone began to ring. At first, Carl was ignoring the calls, but I told him that if we did that, they would start showing up at our house and that would be way worse. So I started taking calls and telling people I was sleeping, the end.
NO BABY!!!!!
Baby Doozit will come when he's ready. And when he comes, we will update the online world on that. So in the meantime, don't call. Because if you don't know about it, he's not here yet.
The answer is: NO!!!
No baby.
I woke up yesterday feeling a strange pain in my upper left abdomen. It hurt to move, so I didn't. At that point, my right wrist went numb, and the numbness spread up my arm. Shortly after that, my left leg went numb, starting from the ankle. I decided that I must have been experiencing a mondo dose of relaxin, which would have the potential to cause my carpal tunnels (which are already compromised from years of music) to collapse, as well as their equivalent in my [severely pronated] ankles.
Finally, utilizing self control of Herculean proportion, I forced myself out of bed to go get dressed (Carl was at a bishopric meeting, so he couldn't help).
I got dressed, still with weird side pain and numbness. Finally Carl got home, and I explained to him what was going on. At this point, I started crying--not out of pain or stress or anything. It just felt like my eyes wanted to cry, so I just let them. It was very strange. Kind of like when your eyes leak from allergies, but this was definitely crying. It just had no emotional reason.
And then I got really really tired and went upstairs to sleep. At this point, church had begun, and shortly thereafter, the phone began to ring. At first, Carl was ignoring the calls, but I told him that if we did that, they would start showing up at our house and that would be way worse. So I started taking calls and telling people I was sleeping, the end.
NO BABY!!!!!
Baby Doozit will come when he's ready. And when he comes, we will update the online world on that. So in the meantime, don't call. Because if you don't know about it, he's not here yet.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
hypnobirthing thought/chill about childbirth
Baby Doozit is basically due any second now, so I've been obviously thinking a lot about birthing. My e-BFF darling told me the other day that she hopes she can be as chill as I am about childbirth. It meant a lot to me, in this weird way (weird because--should I really be this chill about childbirth?).
Reasons Why I Am Chill About Childbirth
1. When you really think about it, most grown women in this world have given birth to at least one child. There are basically kids who do it. There are elderly women who do it. I am at a really good age to have kids. If a 6-year-old and a 60-year-old can do this, I should be able to do it just fine.
2. Obviously throughout history a ton of women have died in childbirth. That's gotta make any prospective mother think twice about the whole childbirth thing. But the health care situation in America is pretty fantastic when it comes to helping women survive childbirth. I'm overall healthy; I think it would take a lot going wrong to put my or Baby D's life in serious danger.
3. I keep going to these hospital tours and midwife appointments and stuff, and the tour guides/midwives keep "enlightening" me with info that I already knew from personal research. I think that's a pretty good sign. I haven't learned anything new about the childbirth process recently, so I feel like I'm pretty well prepared.
4. Either way, this kid's gotta come out, right? So either he comes out vaginally or he gets cut out, but either way, by August for sure he will no longer be in me. So why stress? My freaking out about it will not make a difference as to how he emerges; it will only stress me and Carl out.
5. Pain is lame, but I feel pretty equipped to deal with it. When I was younger (read: under age 15) I had some health issues that at least to me felt like a very big deal. I was in pain very frequently and often it was excruciatingly intense. I pretty much had these scriptures tattooed to my mind and every time something would flare up, I would just think it over and over again and turn off the rest of my mind until the pain went away. Nowadays, any kind of pain I go through feels like not that bad in comparison. And now I always remember that any negative experience I pass through, passes. Every pain and sorrow I've ever experienced is just a memory now. I haven't been through labor yet, obviously, so the jury's still out on that one, but I do feel that as far as things go, I am relatively well prepared to deal with any sort of pain I might face.
I think my childbirth philosophy boils down to:
1. Studying up on the process and being mentally prepared for it [if ye are prepared ye shall not fear].
2. Realizing that no matter what, that baby is going to exit one way or another--so why stress and fret and fear? The process will take less than 48 hours, and afterward it will just be a memory anyway.
3. Remembering that a zillion women have done this and lived. This isn't exactly a unique experience you're going through. Plenty of people without access to quality health care have done it. Plenty of freakishly old and freakishly young people have done it. Plenty of people with startlingly low IQ's have done it. If those people can do it, why can't you do it?
I think it's a pretty functional philosophy. It's been serving me well so far.
The big thing I found myself thinking about last night as I practiced my hypnobirthing is that I really don't like the feeling of floating away. I think in hypnobirthing, that's a sign that you're doing it right: that you start feeling like your spirit is separate from your body, and you're kind of floaty and peaceful. It always freaks me out, though, when I get to that point.
So now I feel caught in a dilemma. I haven't been practicing as diligently as I could be with my hypnobirthing, because if I get too caught up in it, I start feeling like I'm floating away, and I strongly dislike that. But I think that's part of what makes hypnobirths so gentle: your mind is detached from your body and its pain, so you can focus on other things. But I just focus on how much I don't like that feeling.
I think I might actually prefer feeling pain to feeling floaty. O.o;
So, who knows. Not me.
1. When you really think about it, most grown women in this world have given birth to at least one child. There are basically kids who do it. There are elderly women who do it. I am at a really good age to have kids. If a 6-year-old and a 60-year-old can do this, I should be able to do it just fine.
2. Obviously throughout history a ton of women have died in childbirth. That's gotta make any prospective mother think twice about the whole childbirth thing. But the health care situation in America is pretty fantastic when it comes to helping women survive childbirth. I'm overall healthy; I think it would take a lot going wrong to put my or Baby D's life in serious danger.
3. I keep going to these hospital tours and midwife appointments and stuff, and the tour guides/midwives keep "enlightening" me with info that I already knew from personal research. I think that's a pretty good sign. I haven't learned anything new about the childbirth process recently, so I feel like I'm pretty well prepared.
4. Either way, this kid's gotta come out, right? So either he comes out vaginally or he gets cut out, but either way, by August for sure he will no longer be in me. So why stress? My freaking out about it will not make a difference as to how he emerges; it will only stress me and Carl out.
5. Pain is lame, but I feel pretty equipped to deal with it. When I was younger (read: under age 15) I had some health issues that at least to me felt like a very big deal. I was in pain very frequently and often it was excruciatingly intense. I pretty much had these scriptures tattooed to my mind and every time something would flare up, I would just think it over and over again and turn off the rest of my mind until the pain went away. Nowadays, any kind of pain I go through feels like not that bad in comparison. And now I always remember that any negative experience I pass through, passes. Every pain and sorrow I've ever experienced is just a memory now. I haven't been through labor yet, obviously, so the jury's still out on that one, but I do feel that as far as things go, I am relatively well prepared to deal with any sort of pain I might face.
I think my childbirth philosophy boils down to:
1. Studying up on the process and being mentally prepared for it [if ye are prepared ye shall not fear].
2. Realizing that no matter what, that baby is going to exit one way or another--so why stress and fret and fear? The process will take less than 48 hours, and afterward it will just be a memory anyway.
3. Remembering that a zillion women have done this and lived. This isn't exactly a unique experience you're going through. Plenty of people without access to quality health care have done it. Plenty of freakishly old and freakishly young people have done it. Plenty of people with startlingly low IQ's have done it. If those people can do it, why can't you do it?
I think it's a pretty functional philosophy. It's been serving me well so far.
The big thing I found myself thinking about last night as I practiced my hypnobirthing is that I really don't like the feeling of floating away. I think in hypnobirthing, that's a sign that you're doing it right: that you start feeling like your spirit is separate from your body, and you're kind of floaty and peaceful. It always freaks me out, though, when I get to that point.
So now I feel caught in a dilemma. I haven't been practicing as diligently as I could be with my hypnobirthing, because if I get too caught up in it, I start feeling like I'm floating away, and I strongly dislike that. But I think that's part of what makes hypnobirths so gentle: your mind is detached from your body and its pain, so you can focus on other things. But I just focus on how much I don't like that feeling.
I think I might actually prefer feeling pain to feeling floaty. O.o;
So, who knows. Not me.
awesome day
Guys, today has been SO AWESOME.
I didn't really sleep last night, due to my hurt back. My whole spine all the way up to my head was affected, and then my sciatic nerve was also affected, so pretty much it just hurt from my neck on down to the heels of my feet. But the good news is my arms were fine.
Also, I am happy! So who even cares about not sleeping.
I went over to the house again today and did a few loads of laundry (including a few loads for Baby D--it takes SO many baby clothes to fill up a load of laundry! Whoa!), and tried to figure out a system for organizing all my books. Our zillions of bazillions of books.
I figured it out. One of these times I will post a picture of the bookshelves I organized today. They look FREAKING FANTASTIC.
I was inspired while I was putting away my vast Idiot's Guide collection. All that orange looked so nice, I went out and grabbed my 10 other random orange-spined books (like "The Art of Woo" and "Freakonomics," and stuck them next to it. Then there was a blue-spined book with a bright orange stripe across it, so I added that, and then piled blue books next to it, so the stripey book was like a transition.
The next shelf down was for my books on finance and economics. Turns out people who write about money like their books to be green. So I had a green section and a white section and a purple section (?) for my money shelf.
So then I had those fun colors on those shelves, so I went back into the front room and organized my other bookshelf the same way. The top row is for purples and burgundies that fade to blue; the next one is for blues fading into greens; then comes the beige row, the red row, and a black row. I found some pictures of me and Carl and our families that matched the colors and put them up, and now the bookshelf looks so aesthetically pleasing I can barely stand it. I just like to stand back at look at it.
Then my BFF from my old work called, and we caught up and she told me awesome stories, and then later my mom offered HER a job, and it was like all my dreams came true. And right now I'm watching So You Think You Can Dance. Is it possible for today to get better?
And then tomorrow I have my midwife appointment, and Friday is the chiropractor--I don't even care if I don't sleep again tonight, and I don't care that my body hurts. I am just one happy girl. Even in spite of my foul Bieber mullet. Life is so awesome I can barely stand it.
I didn't really sleep last night, due to my hurt back. My whole spine all the way up to my head was affected, and then my sciatic nerve was also affected, so pretty much it just hurt from my neck on down to the heels of my feet. But the good news is my arms were fine.
Also, I am happy! So who even cares about not sleeping.
I went over to the house again today and did a few loads of laundry (including a few loads for Baby D--it takes SO many baby clothes to fill up a load of laundry! Whoa!), and tried to figure out a system for organizing all my books. Our zillions of bazillions of books.
I figured it out. One of these times I will post a picture of the bookshelves I organized today. They look FREAKING FANTASTIC.
I was inspired while I was putting away my vast Idiot's Guide collection. All that orange looked so nice, I went out and grabbed my 10 other random orange-spined books (like "The Art of Woo" and "Freakonomics," and stuck them next to it. Then there was a blue-spined book with a bright orange stripe across it, so I added that, and then piled blue books next to it, so the stripey book was like a transition.
The next shelf down was for my books on finance and economics. Turns out people who write about money like their books to be green. So I had a green section and a white section and a purple section (?) for my money shelf.
So then I had those fun colors on those shelves, so I went back into the front room and organized my other bookshelf the same way. The top row is for purples and burgundies that fade to blue; the next one is for blues fading into greens; then comes the beige row, the red row, and a black row. I found some pictures of me and Carl and our families that matched the colors and put them up, and now the bookshelf looks so aesthetically pleasing I can barely stand it. I just like to stand back at look at it.
Then my BFF from my old work called, and we caught up and she told me awesome stories, and then later my mom offered HER a job, and it was like all my dreams came true. And right now I'm watching So You Think You Can Dance. Is it possible for today to get better?
And then tomorrow I have my midwife appointment, and Friday is the chiropractor--I don't even care if I don't sleep again tonight, and I don't care that my body hurts. I am just one happy girl. Even in spite of my foul Bieber mullet. Life is so awesome I can barely stand it.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
fatigue, and also some hiphop
The past week has been so intensely exhausting, I've been amazed.
Last night I went over to the new house to help unpack books while Carl and my dad painted and cleaned stuff. After maybe 20 minutes, I was exhausted. For the rest of the evening, even just making minor movements was a struggle. We're not talking standing up: we're talking picking up a cup of water, or lifting a hand off where it's resting on a table.
I have a whole new respect for people with fatigue. I wouldn't have believed it was possible to be this tired. It's amazing because my brain's not always tired, but my body is. I can take two naps a day and still want to go to bed at 9. In fact, that's what I did on Tuesday! But of course we didn't go to bed at 9 because of So You Think You Can Dance, which reminds me that you need this in your life:
Note the guy in the white pants at 0:20. He is my favorite guy so far, but also, his footwork there is KERAZY. What a rock star!
Also this video (the dance starts at 1:48, My favorite part is at 2:58-3:11):
Doesn't that one remind you of the Matrix? I really enjoyed it. The Top 10 girls dance wasn't nearly as cool, IMHO.
Anyway. It's just been crazy to suddenly be living in a world where sitting up or lifting a fork or something sounds like exercise. It's not like that all the time, and even when it is, a lot of times I can make myself do things even though I feel so weird. But still, it's a kind of lifestyle I never thoroughly imagined.
Last night I went over to the new house to help unpack books while Carl and my dad painted and cleaned stuff. After maybe 20 minutes, I was exhausted. For the rest of the evening, even just making minor movements was a struggle. We're not talking standing up: we're talking picking up a cup of water, or lifting a hand off where it's resting on a table.
I have a whole new respect for people with fatigue. I wouldn't have believed it was possible to be this tired. It's amazing because my brain's not always tired, but my body is. I can take two naps a day and still want to go to bed at 9. In fact, that's what I did on Tuesday! But of course we didn't go to bed at 9 because of So You Think You Can Dance, which reminds me that you need this in your life:
Note the guy in the white pants at 0:20. He is my favorite guy so far, but also, his footwork there is KERAZY. What a rock star!
Also this video (the dance starts at 1:48, My favorite part is at 2:58-3:11):
Doesn't that one remind you of the Matrix? I really enjoyed it. The Top 10 girls dance wasn't nearly as cool, IMHO.
Anyway. It's just been crazy to suddenly be living in a world where sitting up or lifting a fork or something sounds like exercise. It's not like that all the time, and even when it is, a lot of times I can make myself do things even though I feel so weird. But still, it's a kind of lifestyle I never thoroughly imagined.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
hospital tour
On Sunday after Stake Conference Carl and I took a tour of the hospital's maternity ward.
The lady giving the tour was half an hour late, and later on we found out why.
Because she really, really liked to talk about tangential things. X_X;;;;
There were 8 couples total. From the get-go I was a little apprehensive, because one couple was Orthodox Jewish, complete with yarmulke and that fringey thing that I can't remember, and the traditional clothing, and then one couple was Muslim, complete with hijab, etc. Strangely, the Muslim couple wasn't married--I thought that was against their religion or something.
But, no terror broke out, so that was a relief.
We learned what to do as far as actually entering the hospital during the whole birth process: when is the right time to go to the emergency room, etc. The tour guide gave a lot of good advice, but of course it was all stuff I already knew from studying up on the Internet, so for me it was pretty boring. The advice was on stuff like what to eat before/during labor, and the importance of squatting, and having a birth ball and so on and so forth.
The rooms where you go for labor are nice by hospital standards, but I didn't love them. I think I have spent entirely too much time in my life dealing with hospitals and doctors and doctors' offices of all varieties. But yes, the rooms are nice by hospital standards.
The mother/baby unit at this hospital is also nice by hospital standards. They're private rooms, which is cool, and they look way less hospital-y than some other hospitals I've had the pleasure of going to. I didn't realize that the rule is that both mother and baby must stay in the hospital for two nights after birth. I don't love that rule.
Part of the reason for it, I think, is so that new mothers have a chance to figure out infant care with nurses around to help. I think it makes sense for most people, but I have to say, I can't imagine what would be so hard for me personally that it would take 48 hours in the hospital to figure out. My brother is basically a giant 3-month-old. I'm just excited to change a diaper that's not 2 and a half feet long, and play baby games with a kid that can respond and learn from the game.
And if I have to dress somebody, I'm glad that that person can be 21 inches long instead of 64, and have convenient snappy clothes, and hopefully no contractured hamstring or suddenly hypertonic arms to deal with.
All of that sounds really exciting to me.
And if I have to feed someone else every three hours every day, it's exciting to be able to do it without a g-tube and formula.
And if I have to deal with drool and vomit and other bodily fluids, again, at least it's coming from a kid whose stomach is the size of a marble. I am incredibly thrilled about the prospect of this.
I already do frequent feedings and giant diaper changes and cleaning up toxic body fluid. I already dress and undress a guy who can't do it for himself. I already have to spend my entire life watching kid shows on TV. I can't see how much the mandatory hospital stay will help.
But, oh well. The one service that I think will come in handy is the lactation consultant. And also the hospital provides you with food (although on second thought.... um...).
We'll see.
Baby D is officially 37 weeks! He could come AT ANY TIME!
The lady giving the tour was half an hour late, and later on we found out why.
Because she really, really liked to talk about tangential things. X_X;;;;
There were 8 couples total. From the get-go I was a little apprehensive, because one couple was Orthodox Jewish, complete with yarmulke and that fringey thing that I can't remember, and the traditional clothing, and then one couple was Muslim, complete with hijab, etc. Strangely, the Muslim couple wasn't married--I thought that was against their religion or something.
But, no terror broke out, so that was a relief.
We learned what to do as far as actually entering the hospital during the whole birth process: when is the right time to go to the emergency room, etc. The tour guide gave a lot of good advice, but of course it was all stuff I already knew from studying up on the Internet, so for me it was pretty boring. The advice was on stuff like what to eat before/during labor, and the importance of squatting, and having a birth ball and so on and so forth.
The rooms where you go for labor are nice by hospital standards, but I didn't love them. I think I have spent entirely too much time in my life dealing with hospitals and doctors and doctors' offices of all varieties. But yes, the rooms are nice by hospital standards.
The mother/baby unit at this hospital is also nice by hospital standards. They're private rooms, which is cool, and they look way less hospital-y than some other hospitals I've had the pleasure of going to. I didn't realize that the rule is that both mother and baby must stay in the hospital for two nights after birth. I don't love that rule.
Part of the reason for it, I think, is so that new mothers have a chance to figure out infant care with nurses around to help. I think it makes sense for most people, but I have to say, I can't imagine what would be so hard for me personally that it would take 48 hours in the hospital to figure out. My brother is basically a giant 3-month-old. I'm just excited to change a diaper that's not 2 and a half feet long, and play baby games with a kid that can respond and learn from the game.
And if I have to dress somebody, I'm glad that that person can be 21 inches long instead of 64, and have convenient snappy clothes, and hopefully no contractured hamstring or suddenly hypertonic arms to deal with.
All of that sounds really exciting to me.
And if I have to feed someone else every three hours every day, it's exciting to be able to do it without a g-tube and formula.
And if I have to deal with drool and vomit and other bodily fluids, again, at least it's coming from a kid whose stomach is the size of a marble. I am incredibly thrilled about the prospect of this.
I already do frequent feedings and giant diaper changes and cleaning up toxic body fluid. I already dress and undress a guy who can't do it for himself. I already have to spend my entire life watching kid shows on TV. I can't see how much the mandatory hospital stay will help.
But, oh well. The one service that I think will come in handy is the lactation consultant. And also the hospital provides you with food (although on second thought.... um...).
We'll see.
Baby D is officially 37 weeks! He could come AT ANY TIME!
Thursday, June 2, 2011
baby d updates
We went to the midwife today! Baby D is no longer sunny-side up--prayer works once again! Last night he was, but Carl and I prayed that he would flip around, and he did. So, awesome. His heart rate is good. Fundal height is 36. I gained like 2-3 pounds or so. At least 1 pound of that was actually Baby D gaining weight.
His wiggles have gotten pretty weird feeling. This morning I felt something click under my rib. I have no idea what that could have been. It would have been his knee knocking against something, maybe a bone of mine. It was very strange.
I probably already wrote this in my entry about the month of June, but with a due date of June 29, Baby D will be 37 weeks--and considered full-term--next week. He will be post-term at July 14. That's a pretty wide window, but basically he could come at any time between now and then.
And with the ultrasound people's guess of June 20, that puts us already at 37 weeks, and with a post-due date of July 4.
Basically, he could come AT ANY MOMENT from here until the middle of July, and that would be totally normal.
Wow.
His wiggles have gotten pretty weird feeling. This morning I felt something click under my rib. I have no idea what that could have been. It would have been his knee knocking against something, maybe a bone of mine. It was very strange.
I probably already wrote this in my entry about the month of June, but with a due date of June 29, Baby D will be 37 weeks--and considered full-term--next week. He will be post-term at July 14. That's a pretty wide window, but basically he could come at any time between now and then.
And with the ultrasound people's guess of June 20, that puts us already at 37 weeks, and with a post-due date of July 4.
Basically, he could come AT ANY MOMENT from here until the middle of July, and that would be totally normal.
Wow.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
JUNE!!!
It's Baby Doozit's last month in utero! Whoohoo! With any luck, come July, he will be out!
Technically he could come as late as July 14, and that would be within the realm of normal, but at the same time, he could come next week and that would also be in the realm of normal.
My greatest hope is that no one bothers to call my cell phone or my house to ask if Baby D has come yet. If you have not seen a picture of him or an announcement on here or on Facebook, it's because he's not born. So don't waste time calling because I will probably be too tired and annoyed to talk to you (sorry!).
Anyway, so excited. Carl and I have finally gotten on track with our hypnobirthing practice. I have to give a shout-out to my aunt Angie, whose amazing tutelage in the art of self-hypnosis has been SO helpful in preparation for this birth. At first I was worried that five weeks of home study prep would not be enough, but I think that because of her help, everything will be fine. Last night I was able to suggest myself into a hypnotic state in probably under two minutes. Obviously I haven't done it yet during contractions (or "uterine surges," as my hypnobirthing book calls them), but it is heartening that so far the techniques come easily.
The house is coming along fantastically. Today I get to go over there and supervise some carpet installation. Last night the YW from church came over and weeded the yard and cleaned out the cupboards in the kitchen, so now the kitchen is almost ready to have stuff moved into it (the only thing left to scrub down is the freezer, which I've been putting off).
It looks like we could actually be all moved in this month. And have a baby this month.
New house, new baby--hooray!
Technically he could come as late as July 14, and that would be within the realm of normal, but at the same time, he could come next week and that would also be in the realm of normal.
My greatest hope is that no one bothers to call my cell phone or my house to ask if Baby D has come yet. If you have not seen a picture of him or an announcement on here or on Facebook, it's because he's not born. So don't waste time calling because I will probably be too tired and annoyed to talk to you (sorry!).
Anyway, so excited. Carl and I have finally gotten on track with our hypnobirthing practice. I have to give a shout-out to my aunt Angie, whose amazing tutelage in the art of self-hypnosis has been SO helpful in preparation for this birth. At first I was worried that five weeks of home study prep would not be enough, but I think that because of her help, everything will be fine. Last night I was able to suggest myself into a hypnotic state in probably under two minutes. Obviously I haven't done it yet during contractions (or "uterine surges," as my hypnobirthing book calls them), but it is heartening that so far the techniques come easily.
The house is coming along fantastically. Today I get to go over there and supervise some carpet installation. Last night the YW from church came over and weeded the yard and cleaned out the cupboards in the kitchen, so now the kitchen is almost ready to have stuff moved into it (the only thing left to scrub down is the freezer, which I've been putting off).
It looks like we could actually be all moved in this month. And have a baby this month.
New house, new baby--hooray!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
baby shower!
On Saturday, some darling dear friends threw me a surprise baby shower. It was awesome!
I was very impressed that they managed to keep it a secret. In retrospect, I really should have known, but I just didn't catch on. I was told that it was a Young Women's Board meeting for church--something that didn't make a lot of sense to me, since half of the board is moving out by July and we'll need to reorganize basically any second now. But I didn't question it.
I was running a little late for the "meeting," and the YW President called to see where I was. It was five minutes before the meeting was set to start, and I could hear people talking in the background. "Man, everyone is so much more punctual than I am," I thought, as I assured the YWP that I would be there ASAP.
Then I got there, walked in, noticed that there were no shoes by the door, and that there was a table full of refreshments in the dining room, and got confused, and then noticed that all these people were in the other room--people who were not on the board. I think they yelled "SURPRISE!" at that point, which was probably the thing that tipped me off to what was going on. I was very surprised!
The Beehives (the girls aged 12-13) sponsored a game where everyone got a ring to wear. If you said the word "baby" you lost your ring.
Of course, my BFF Christina started saying some alternatives we could use: infant, newborn.
"Rock on, baby!" I said, and promptly lost my ring, despite the use of the word "baby" in a completely different context.
The MIA Maids (ages 14-15) sponsored a game where we looked at unlabeled baby food and had to guess the flavors. There was mashed pear, banana, sweet potato, carrot, and more. There were a whole lot of orange things. Who knew so many foods mash up to be orange?
Then the Laurels (ages 16-17) sponsored a game where we made baby slings for teddy bears out of toilet paper. It was fun!
And then we did presents. Everyone was so generous. Baby Doozit is basically the luckiest kid ever. We got some CUTE little outfits, a bunch of blankets (including one gorgeous handmade blanket), a very cute diaper cake that I need to take a picture of because it is so much better looking than another other cake I can find online, and various other practical baby items, many of which I had not realized I would need.
I guess technically you don't NEED a rubber ducky that changes color if the water's too hot, but hey! It sure is helpful to have one!
It was pretty much fantastic. I am so grateful to have such amazing friends at church. Baby Doozit is grateful too!
I was very impressed that they managed to keep it a secret. In retrospect, I really should have known, but I just didn't catch on. I was told that it was a Young Women's Board meeting for church--something that didn't make a lot of sense to me, since half of the board is moving out by July and we'll need to reorganize basically any second now. But I didn't question it.
I was running a little late for the "meeting," and the YW President called to see where I was. It was five minutes before the meeting was set to start, and I could hear people talking in the background. "Man, everyone is so much more punctual than I am," I thought, as I assured the YWP that I would be there ASAP.
Then I got there, walked in, noticed that there were no shoes by the door, and that there was a table full of refreshments in the dining room, and got confused, and then noticed that all these people were in the other room--people who were not on the board. I think they yelled "SURPRISE!" at that point, which was probably the thing that tipped me off to what was going on. I was very surprised!
The Beehives (the girls aged 12-13) sponsored a game where everyone got a ring to wear. If you said the word "baby" you lost your ring.
Of course, my BFF Christina started saying some alternatives we could use: infant, newborn.
"Rock on, baby!" I said, and promptly lost my ring, despite the use of the word "baby" in a completely different context.
The MIA Maids (ages 14-15) sponsored a game where we looked at unlabeled baby food and had to guess the flavors. There was mashed pear, banana, sweet potato, carrot, and more. There were a whole lot of orange things. Who knew so many foods mash up to be orange?
Then the Laurels (ages 16-17) sponsored a game where we made baby slings for teddy bears out of toilet paper. It was fun!
And then we did presents. Everyone was so generous. Baby Doozit is basically the luckiest kid ever. We got some CUTE little outfits, a bunch of blankets (including one gorgeous handmade blanket), a very cute diaper cake that I need to take a picture of because it is so much better looking than another other cake I can find online, and various other practical baby items, many of which I had not realized I would need.
I guess technically you don't NEED a rubber ducky that changes color if the water's too hot, but hey! It sure is helpful to have one!
It was pretty much fantastic. I am so grateful to have such amazing friends at church. Baby Doozit is grateful too!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
midwife appointment
Midwife appointment was good. Fundal height is at 35 cm. I weighed one pound less than I did two weeks ago on their scale, but nobody said anything about it so I guess it's fine? I just used my nifty pregnancy weight tracker and discovered that I am 4 pounds underweight now.
However, Baby D is getting pretty gigantic, so I don't think there's anything to worry about.
However, Baby D is getting pretty gigantic, so I don't think there's anything to worry about.
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