sweet moments

Today I asked Carl if he would put Nathaniel on the ground while I worked. My plan was to watch him as I typed.

Carl didn't return for a while, even though he had work to do, too. Finally I looked for him. He and Nathaniel were sitting just around the corner, playing ball together. It was so sweet I could hardly stand it. I had one of those moments where I just realized that Nathaniel won't be so little for very long, so I had better treasure it. I have a few of those moments I've tried to tattoo on my heart. I treasure them all.

Just now I was trying to get Nathaniel to go to sleep. Over the past few days, he's done this thing where he gets super tired--you can tell from the circles under his eyes and how he rubs his eyes with his hands--but he cries if I try to nurse him down to sleep. So it takes some effort now. We turn off all the lights, and I snuggle him and try to nurse him in the complete darkness.

Just now I was getting a little frustrated, because he was clearly very tired but he just wanted to be going! going! going! I looked at the time and said I would try to nurse him for 15 minutes and if he were still awake after that, I would give up and turn on the lights and finish everything up with him awake.

Lo and behold, four minutes later he was sound asleep. He is sleeping beside me this very moment. I need to remember that he is a total n00b to being alive here. He doesn't know how to handle his body. I have to help him learn things even as simple as going to sleep at proper times. I have to be patient with him.

Here, you should read this great essay from my friend Lanette on being a mom.

Over and out.

on gratitude and an attitude adjustment

Yesterday started out being a tough day. I was up all night trying to keep Nathaniel from sleeping on his tummy, and by the time I got him to sleep for real on his back, it was 5:30 am and I hadn't gotten any sleep at all.

So I fully planned to have an awful day. I wasn't mean about it, just resigned. I got up to make Carl's lunch and thought, of course I have to make him lunch on the worst day. And stupid stuff like that.

When we got back from taking Carl to work, I prayed for help to get through this day, because it was clearly such a terrible, terrible day.

And then it hit me:

There are thousands of women praying right now to have a child. They would give up so much for the opportunity to stay up all night keeping their kid from sleeping weirdly.

There are women right now praying for an escape from people who would beat them or rape them or murder them or worse. They would give so much to have their biggest problem be a lack of sleep.

There are women starving to death, and women forced into slavery, and women with terrible diseases, and I am seriously complaining about staying up all night with a baby?

My baby is even cute! He's even happy! There are plenty of moms who don't even get that!

What business do I have complaining about anything when I am pretty much the most blessed person I know?

So, no, I didn't get a real nap yesterday. And by the end of the day I was beat. But I will say, after that attitude adjustment, my day was great.

The purpose of life is happiness: men are that they might have joy. God has given me so much. I feel like it's pretty much my job to be joyful.

So, sorry I was a complainer. It was ungrateful of me. At the end of the day, my life is good. It all just comes down to an attitude adjustment.

Source: thenester.com via Allie on Pinterest

good morning!

Good morning! I'm trapped in the kitchen with my baby asleep on my lap. Of course that means I am on Pinterest. But first, I did 40 minutes of Pure Cardio with Julie--even though Carl and I were up until midnight last night, I got up with the baby a few times, and got up for the day at 7:30. No excuses. I'm not going to wake up tomorrow wishing I had done more today. My body is a blessing from God and it's my job to treat it right.

Source: committobeingfitxx.tumblr.com via Allie on Pinterest

Source: strivingforfitandfab.tumblr.com via Allie on Pinterest

new scriptures!

For Christmas, what I REALLY REALLY wanted was new scriptures. Happy day, Carl's parents got me some!

I got my first real set of scriptures when I turned eight, for my baptism. When I was 15, that set disintegrated and I got a new set. I had that set until just now. I'm 23. So I figure it's safe to plan on needing a new set every 7-10 years.

Can you tell which one is old and which one is new?





Just kidding! It's pretty easy to tell. I'm so grateful for my new scriptures. My last set had really bad acid problems, from how I used to always take notes in there with acid pens. In this picture, the notes you see in hot pink were originally written in purple and blue, several pages away.



So grateful for new scriptures! In my new set, I am only using colored pencils and mechanical pencils to color in scriptures and take notes, respectively. I even made a whole color system to do it in (as in, orange relates to the Atonement. Pink is for inspirational scriptures. Red is for commandments. Et cetera). It involves like 10 colors and is pretty intense, because of how I have decided to sort scriptures I think are important. But so far so good. I've started slowly transferring my old notes into my new scriptures. It's hard because the acid has eaten away a lot of things I've written, but it's been good to revisit past meditations.

Yay new scriptures!

gratitude

I just needed to take a moment and say some thank-yous.

We have been so blessed in recent months and weeks and it's all pretty overwhelming. I think pretty much all of Baby D's needs have been met thus far, between two baby showers, amazing friends and family, and random people who've decided to give us their old baby stuff.

What we have needed to buy so far:

- a $40 used glider that is awesome

We have been so blessed.

This is me committing to pay it forward, and also to just be eternally grateful to everyone who has been so kind to us in preparing the way for this silly ninja baby. I guess I will just have to take tons of cute pictures for everyone to appreciate, as a way of saying thanks. Maybe take a video of him belly-laughing sometime. Everyone loves those.

I went to the midwife yesterday; everything is good. Fundal height is at 38. His heart rate was crazy because he was exercising at the time we tried to measure.

an unexpected kindness

I didn't get to properly acknowledge this random guy in person, so I have to acknowledge him here, where he will probably never see it.

Today I stayed late at work, and met my husband at my Metro stop to ride home with him. We got on a crowded train, and I beelined for an open seat, and this random other guy got there right before I did. It was a sad moment because my back was killin.

But right then, another guy got up. He'd been sitting next to the wall, so he had to maneuver to get out of his seat. But he did, and offered the spot to me.

I was really touched by that. It's not super often that people are so considerate on the Metro--obviously, since that first guy totally was like "I'm gonna beat the pregnant lady to that open seat!!!!" Anyway, I thanked the guy who stood for me several times, but I know those words alone can't really convey my gratitude. It really meant a lot to me.

I wish that guy could know what a difference he made in my day.

It really makes me wonder how many other tiny acts of kindness are like that: small on the outside, but deeply meaningful to the recipients of said acts.

Like this one time, I was at Union Station, and as I walked past, a woman spilled her purse on the ground. It was the lunchtime rush and people were everywhere, and this lady was crawling on the ground and cursing at her bad luck. I bent down and started helping her, and I thought she was going to cry. "Blessings! Oh, God bless you!" she said over and over again. She just seemed so grateful. It only took like 2 minutes out of my life, and it was 100% not a big deal just to bend down and pick things up for her, but I do think it seriously changed her whole day. I think about that time a lot.

So after that guy gave me his seat and I thanked him a few times, I decided I couldn't go wrong by doing what that woman did for me. I prayed for that guy to get some extra blessings for helping me out.

Who knows. But I sure hope his day turned out great.