why we chose attachment parenting

Nathaniel has slept so strangely tonight I just can't sleep. Strangely in a mostly good way--he went to sleep at 11 pm and has only gotten up once to nurse. But that's unusual, and my body is up, and so I'm blogging at 5:30 in the morning.

I've been meaning to blog about attachment parenting for a while. It's something I randomly discovered online while I was pregnant, and I am so glad I did.

Attachment parenting has seven basics, seven B's:

1. Birth bonding (bonding with the baby immediately after birth)
2. Breastfeeding
3. Babywearing
4. Bedding near the baby
5. "Belief in the language value of your baby's cry"
6. "Beware of baby trainers"
7. Balance

We did the whole birth bonding thing, and now we've been doing breastfeeding for a full 10 weeks. I wear Baby D pretty frequently in slings and my Moby wrap, and we co-sleep. I always try to remember that he only cries because he needs something, and I find myself ever more wary of those who say to put my baby on a schedule, or let him cry it out, or whatever. I feel great about all these choices, and I think Carl does too.

I picked attachment parenting after a lot of incidental research. I first stumbled across the idea on a random blog my friend sent me to on a day we were both bored. From there, I researched it a lot. For me, right now, this seems like the perfect parenting style. It addresses everything I didn't like about how I was raised, and in a way that I feel is easy and instinctive.

Breastfeeding was hard for the first few weeks, but every day it gets easier and it is one thing I truly cherish about my relationship with my baby. I feel like I wouldn't know him as well as I do without that.

A lot of people gasp in abject horror when they find out that our baby sleeps in our bed with us, but I wouldn't have it any other way. My body has been so attuned to his from the very beginning that there is no chance I would ever roll onto him. It was a million times harder to sleep when he was apart from me, in the hospital.

Attachment parenting isn't a checklist of steps to do or anything like that; it's a guide, or an approach to parenting that is all about helping your kids form an attachment to you.

To me, it's about helping my baby establish trust. I want him to always know that he can come to me and I will help him. To me, that means not pushing him away if he comes to me in the middle of the night with a nightmare when he's older. It means nurturing him with loving touch even when he's not a baby anymore. And right now, it means keeping him close to me always. My body is his natural habitat right now. I am his only source of nutrition, I am the one who reads his cries for what they are, and I am the one who changes and washes all those diapers. I am his safety.

I think we all like it that way.

synchronicity, pregnancy, and my two slings

Okay, I've been meaning to blog about my two slings for a while, and since I'm trapped in the living with Phineas, Ferb, and my brother for at least the next 2.5 hours, I might as well write about them now.

It all starts with the idea of synchronicity.

I was introduced to the formal concept of synchronicity last July, while I was on vacation with Carl's family in California. I had [unbeknownst to me] developed GPC, and was unable to wear my contact lenses. We went to the eye doctor in CA to buy me glasses, since I hadn't brought glasses with me and on top of that, my old glasses were several years behind my current prescription.*

While we were waiting for the glasses to be made, we went next door to a Borders. This was way more fun for Carl and his brother, on account of that they could actually see. Being almost blind, I just kind of felt my way around the bookstore and tried to find a section that was a) interesting and b) empty, so I could get up within 4 inches of the shelves to read the titles of everything.

I don't remember what section I ended up in, only that as I was looking for a book to read it felt like one in particular jumped out at me. It was just easier to see, for some reason. It was called The Seven Secrets of Synchronicity, and I nearly read the whole thing at the bookstore. When we left, I decided I just had to have it. So I bit the bullet and bought it on the way back to the eye doctor.

From that synchronicitous experience, I have witnessed countless examples of synchronicity in my life--but never so much as when I found out I was pregnant.

The first thing that made me suspect I was probably with child was a Fast Sunday. We were having a family fast for my brother, and I felt compelled to participate, but the idea of fasting made me almost faint. Just the thought of not eating made me ill. So I opted out of the fast and just ate all day long.

And I thought to myself, I am not the sort of girl who doesn't fast and then eats all day long.

I must be PREGNANT!

And then it was another week or two until we finally got around to getting a pregnancy test. Obviously it was positive. Ha, it was very positive. The test was supposed to take 2 minutes, but it actually only took 2 seconds. No doubt there, I guess.

We found out on a Monday morning before I left for work--so at about 6:15 am. We took the test, found out, and I ran to my car to get to work on time. And when I got into my car, the radio turned on to: "Are you pregnant? Are you--"

And I switched the channel because it was weird.

Between the time I left for work at 6:30 and the time I actually got to work, at 7:30, like 3 other experiences happened like that. I wrote them down in a journal that I've misplaced, but suffice it to say that I kept on overhearing loud conversations about pregnancy, and seeing ads for baby stuff, and so on. It was very strange. And when I got to work, and checked my email, lo and behold, there was an email from my Jillian Michaels email list, offering me a free baby carrier.

So I took the hint and ordered two of them. They weren't super free, since I still had to pay $15 shipping per, but that's still way cheaper than getting one at $39. [I got the purple and the green ones here.]

Anyway. And then for the whole rest of the week, every time I turned on the radio, every time I turned on the TV, every time I did ANYTHING [it felt like] pregnancy came up. It was crazy. You could argue that the TV/radio/general world always does that, and I only ever noticed it that week, and maybe it's true. Maybe every time I turn on a TV at any time, ads for formula and reports on infant health come on.

But I haven't noticed it since. After that week, it all calmed down. That is, until a few days ago when I randomly found that Fetal Origins book (in a similar way to how I found the synchronicity book, actually), and then when I got into my car the radio turned on to a report on the effect of BPA on fetuses/infants, and now everywhere I turn there are things on fetal origins. So weird.

Anyway. So that is the story of the synchronicitous way in which I got my first 2 baby slings--mixed with a whole bunch of tangent. The end!



*Incidentally, the GPC infection is why I have gone from never wearing glasses to never wearing contacts.

an unhealthy obsession coming on...

My parents are out of town this week, so Carl and I get to watch my brother! Since Carl has to teach the 12-14 year-olds at church, I am watching James instead of going to church. Right now he's just chillin. Here, I took a pic with my webcam:



But the point is, over the past few days, I've spent an insane amount of time researching attachment parenting. One thing I love is the idea of babywearing.

But the thing about babywearing is, you need to have something to wear them in.

I already have two slings (ah! I'll write that story today and link it [UPDATE: linked]), but they're the same model and I've thought it would be smart to diversify.

I think I am becoming obsessed with babycarriers.

Ring slings, non-ring slings, mei tais, wraps. Ah! There's a whole world of freaking awesome babycarriers that I never knew existed!

Anyway. Oh man. I could totally see myself just looking at babycarriers all day today. This is probably unhealthy.


In other news, I liked this blog entry on babywearing. So cool.