repentance, forgiveness, and grace

Yesterday I breached a friend's trust.

Today, I felt super guilty about it.

I just emailed him asking for forgiveness. But I still feel like a total jerk.

Several times I've had the interesting fortune to converse with non-LDS Christian friends about grace. A lot of non-Mormons seem to think that Mormons believe that we somehow "earn" heaven or something. That is not what we believe.

I loved this essay on the LDS view of grace by Brad Wilcox. Here's an excerpt that means a lot to me right this moment:

Elder Bruce C. Hafen (BA ’66) has written, “The great Mediator asks for our repentance not because we must ‘repay’ him in exchange for his paying our debt to justice, but because repentance initiates a developmental process that, with the Savior’s help, leads us along the path to a saintly character” (The Broken Heart [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1989], p. 149; emphasis in original).

Elder Dallin H. Oaks (BS ’54) has said, referring to President Spencer W. Kimball’s explanation, “The repenting sinner must suffer for his sins, but this suffering has a different purpose than punishment or payment. Its purpose is change” (The Lord’s Way [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1991], p. 223; emphasis in original). Let’s put this in terms of our analogy: The child must practice the piano, but this practice has a different purpose than punishment or payment. Its purpose is change.

I have born-again Christian friends who say to me, “You Mormons are trying to earn your way to heaven.”

I say, “No, we are not earning heaven. We are learning heaven. We are preparing for it (see D&C 78:7). We are practicing for it.”

They ask me, “Have you been saved by grace?”

I answer, “Yes. Absolutely, totally, completely, thankfully—yes!”

Then I ask them a question that perhaps they have not fully considered: “Have you been changed by grace?” They are so excited about being saved that maybe they are not thinking enough about what comes next. They are so happy the debt is paid that they may not have considered why the debt existed in the first place. Latter-day Saints know not only what Jesus has saved us from but also what He has saved us for. As my friend Brett C. Sanders (BS ’00) puts it, “A life impacted by grace eventually begins to look like Christ’s life.” As my friend Omar Canals shared with me, “While many Christians view Christ’s suffering as only a huge favor He did for us, Latter-day Saints also recognize it as a huge investment He made in us.” As Moroni puts it, grace isn’t just about being saved. It is also about becoming like the Savior (see Moro. 7:48).

Making mistakes is inevitable, but Christ paid for all of our mistakes. Through His Atonement, with His help, we are able to change and become more like Him. "Learn heaven," if you will. Become the kind of people who belong in God's presence.

Argh. Clearly I have a long way to go. But I'm grateful for repentance, for the Atonement, for Christ's grace and for the gift of prayer. And I'm grateful for my friend.

UPDATE: Another friend posted about this same kind of idea just a bit ago. I thought it was a good thought.