cloth vs. disposable diapers

So! We just ran out of diapers in Nathaniel's size. Not really; last night I ordered some on Amazon and they just got here. But we're getting to the point where I feel like if we're going to cloth diaper, we should really just buy the diapers, and get it over with so we have enough to make it worthwhile. Right now, we just have enough cloth diapers to get us through about a day.

Here are the pros and cons of disposables:

PROS
- less bulky than cloth
- you can just throw them away

CONS
- expensive (~30 - 45 cents per diaper change)
- have weird chemicals in them
- not environmentally friendly


Pros and cons of cloth:

PROS
- around 8 times less expensive per diaper change--and that's just counting one kid. But we could use them for all future kids as well.
- not filling up landfills
- no weird chemicals

CONS
- lots of laundry
- have to rinse out yucky stuff
- bulkier than disposables--although not THAT much, depending on the brand

Now, I was concerned about moving to cloth because one thing I've noticed about Nathaniel in cloth diapers is that whenever he gets wet, he freaks out. It makes him a very sad boy.

BUT, what I realized just yesterday, is that he freaks out about wetness in disposables, too. He just hates to be wet. Even if the disposable FEELS dry, because disposables are so absorbent, he seems to know when he's gone, and since the yellow stripe on his Pampers turn blue when he has, I know when he's gone even if the diaper feels dry. It seems that he is just the kind of kid who understands when it is that he should be changed. In the past, I've assumed that most of his crying came from being hungry, and he never turns down a nursing. But now I'm realizing that most of them time when he cries, it's actually because he needs a diaper change--as long I keep on top of monitoring when he sucks on his hands (a subtle cue to me that he is STARVING! At least in his own mind).

So it appears as though he will cry just as much either way. So the real issue is if we're willing to do extra laundry to save money over the long run. I think I'm into that, although I do think we should still have some extra disposables on hand just in case, or for traveling and so on. But I don't think Carl is convinced.

Any thoughts? Any cloth diaperers out there? Did you love it or hate it? Comment, please!

answered prayer

I still have some leftover injuries from birth. Given Baby D's size, I believe this is understandable.

Well, I hadn't been doing a very good job of taking care of some of my wounds. In my defense, I didn't know how bad they were.

On Monday, I called my midwives and they said I needed to clean out the wound. I started doing it at one point, and it was so excruciatingly painful I ended up unable to walk, and just trembling with pain. So I gave up. But it still needed to be done.

I was so upset and afraid to just bite the bullet. I kept praying that I would be protected from the pain. But I was still so scared.

Finally I decided I had just better do it--better to get it over with than risk further infection or anything else. I said a final prayer, but then prepared for pain, faithless. I was sure it would leave me as incapacitated from pain as the last time.

But just as I was about to do it, I heard this:

Heavenly Father, are you really there? And do you hear and answer every child's prayer?

And it made me brave enough to get it over with. The pain was terrible and I cried, but I survived and it was okay.

The words came from my favorite hymn growing up. As soon as I thought the questions, I knew the answers. Heavenly Father hears all our prayers, even if He doesn't answer them the way we want. I still felt all the pain. But He gave me the strength to go on through it.

Heavenly Father, are you really there?
And do you hear and answer every child's prayer?
Some say that Heaven is far away,
But I feel it close around me as I pray.
Heavenly Father, I remember now
Something that Jesus told disciples long ago:
"Suffer the children to come to me."
Father, in prayer I'm coming now to Thee.

Pray: He is there.
Speak: He is listening.
You are His child, His love now surrounds you.
He hears your prayers; He loves the children.
Of such is the Kingdom, the Kingdom of Heaven.

as performed by Sweethaven

Nathaniel's blessing

Nathaniel got his name and his baby blessing on Sunday. We were so happy to see all our friends and family who showed up for it!

The blessing was a pretty long one. Carl's mom wrote it down, and I scribbled down the highlights as quickly as I could. It was hard because though Nathaniel was quiet and calm throughout, the other kids in the congregation were not as polite, and they cried and yelped and whatever during it, and also the microphone was not turned up all the way, so it was very hard to hear. It took a lot of concentration to hear what Carl was saying. But it was a good blessing and I am so excited for Nathaniel's future.

Afterward we all went to my parents' house for brunch, which was fun. A bunch of people showed up, and everyone fawned over Nathaniel and passed him around, and he was so nice about it. We have the nicest baby around. Here is a picture our darling friend Emily took:



Argh. My hair is still growing out from its foul pseudo-Bieber mullet, and I am ashamed of every picture. But just focus on the cuteness of that darling baby, okay?

After everyone left from the brunch, we did some family pictures. Good times. Hopefully a few of those turned out all right!

on memory

I have all these blog posts I've been thinking of, and now is the time when I might be able to write a few of them! But this one is on memory.

When I was in labor with Nathaniel, the one thing I kept telling myself was that in the end, the pain would all be a memory anyway. Tomorrow, it would all be a memory. It got me through the worst of the pain before I got the epidural.

I've thought that so many times: how pain is just in the moment, and how quickly it becomes a memory. If you can just hold on long enough, eventually it comes to pass, and then it's behind you.

I think of that every day now with Nathaniel. He is a good, good baby. Every day I look at him and think, tomorrow this will just be a memory. It's a heartening thought when it comes to pain management, but when something is beautiful, it's a little bit sad.

Our little boy is so good. Sometimes I look at him and realize that in twenty years, he'll be all grown up. In twenty years, he'll be practically my age. That's weird. We don't have a lot of time to spend with him while he is so tiny. So it's important to make every memory a good one.

family visiting!

Carl's family--well, half of his family--flew out on Tuesday for Nathaniel's baby blessing on Sunday. Baby D has had a great time cuddling with everyone.

Baby D with Grandpa Bob at lunch:



Baby D asleep in his sling:

baby doozit... secretly female????

His birth certificate arrived yesterday.

Apparently my son is actually... my daughter? Yes, his birth certificate is labeled "female."

X_X

I called the MD office of vital stats or whatever, and they basically just blamed the hospital. I don't really know what to do about this.

It's like that time when I took Carl's surname and I had to go to the Social Security office 4 times because they kept misspelling my name. Ugh.

so. tired.

My midwife and the pediatrician keep telling me to just chill out and rest while my, you know, entire body heals from giving birth, and also works to create all of the nutrition that my giant Godzilla baby requires to grow, but here is the deal: I am a productivity freak and resting is not exactly my biggest talent.

Today was an insane day. I got up super early (yay nursing!), dropped Carl off at the Metro (even though I think I'm still not supposed to be driving, due to that whole "resting" thing--although how exactly do those people think I'm supposed to be getting to their silly appointments, anyway? I didn't get to the pediatrician's by resting there), then went to my parents' house to help watch James and organize my coupon binder and plan my shopping trip--which then I completed, Baby D in sling (thanks for the slings, guys!! <3). Then had to carry up all the groceries from the car. Then had to nurse for like 3 hours straight to make up for all that time (yes, 2 hours) that Baby D didn't nurse while we were out and about.

Then I tried to nap with baby, but he kept on waking up and fretting so that didn't happen. Then the plan was to do the laundry and the dishes and make dinner at 6, in time for Carl to get home--but of course, a Metro train hit some poor guy and essentially shut down the Red Line (so no Carl) and Baby D decided that our 45 minutes of almost-naptime had made him starving, so then we had to nurse for another two hours.

Then went and picked up Carl, came home, cooked dinner, ate it while nursing Baby D, gave Baby D his first bath (I think it confused him), and THEN got to do all the laundry, dishes, and random cleaning that I planned to do earlier. For the past, oh, what, like 2.5 hours. I am so fried. And everything is still a mess even though I worked so hard. The end.