hospital tour

On Sunday after Stake Conference Carl and I took a tour of the hospital's maternity ward.

The lady giving the tour was half an hour late, and later on we found out why.

Because she really, really liked to talk about tangential things. X_X;;;;

There were 8 couples total. From the get-go I was a little apprehensive, because one couple was Orthodox Jewish, complete with yarmulke and that fringey thing that I can't remember, and the traditional clothing, and then one couple was Muslim, complete with hijab, etc. Strangely, the Muslim couple wasn't married--I thought that was against their religion or something.

But, no terror broke out, so that was a relief.

We learned what to do as far as actually entering the hospital during the whole birth process: when is the right time to go to the emergency room, etc. The tour guide gave a lot of good advice, but of course it was all stuff I already knew from studying up on the Internet, so for me it was pretty boring. The advice was on stuff like what to eat before/during labor, and the importance of squatting, and having a birth ball and so on and so forth.

The rooms where you go for labor are nice by hospital standards, but I didn't love them. I think I have spent entirely too much time in my life dealing with hospitals and doctors and doctors' offices of all varieties. But yes, the rooms are nice by hospital standards.

The mother/baby unit at this hospital is also nice by hospital standards. They're private rooms, which is cool, and they look way less hospital-y than some other hospitals I've had the pleasure of going to. I didn't realize that the rule is that both mother and baby must stay in the hospital for two nights after birth. I don't love that rule.

Part of the reason for it, I think, is so that new mothers have a chance to figure out infant care with nurses around to help. I think it makes sense for most people, but I have to say, I can't imagine what would be so hard for me personally that it would take 48 hours in the hospital to figure out. My brother is basically a giant 3-month-old. I'm just excited to change a diaper that's not 2 and a half feet long, and play baby games with a kid that can respond and learn from the game.

And if I have to dress somebody, I'm glad that that person can be 21 inches long instead of 64, and have convenient snappy clothes, and hopefully no contractured hamstring or suddenly hypertonic arms to deal with.

All of that sounds really exciting to me.

And if I have to feed someone else every three hours every day, it's exciting to be able to do it without a g-tube and formula.

And if I have to deal with drool and vomit and other bodily fluids, again, at least it's coming from a kid whose stomach is the size of a marble. I am incredibly thrilled about the prospect of this.

I already do frequent feedings and giant diaper changes and cleaning up toxic body fluid. I already dress and undress a guy who can't do it for himself. I already have to spend my entire life watching kid shows on TV. I can't see how much the mandatory hospital stay will help.

But, oh well. The one service that I think will come in handy is the lactation consultant. And also the hospital provides you with food (although on second thought.... um...).

We'll see.

Baby D is officially 37 weeks! He could come AT ANY TIME!