For the past, oh, seven months, every day I have woken up with dread in my heart. Things with my life plan were just not going how I wanted them to. I didn't understand why I was stuck in such a crappy situation, and I kept remembering what it felt like to live with passion.
Before you have lived with passion, you don't know what you're missing. But after you have lived it, every day without it is like the worst day in the world. I learned that when I graduated early from high school, and I learned it again at several points in college. But this was the worst bout of stagnation I could remember. I was pretty miserable, consistently. (Remember this Metro Friend that saved my day one time? I do!)
Carl told me once that I always seemed way happier when I was home sick--even though I would just cough and throw up the whole time, I would way rather do that than be at work.
Anyway, recently I started praying for a miracle. I couldn't think of anything specific, so I just prayed to make it beyond awesome. I could feel things building up to it last week. But yesterday, MIRACLES STRUCK!!!
It was the BEST DAY!!!!
I got more than Carl and I had even hoped for when we were planning our best case scenarios for our family. It was a glorious, glorious moment. As soon as I heard the news, I knew in my heart that this was the miracle I had been praying for. It was elating.
Anyway, suffice it to say, I am now FREE from a situation that I felt trapped in, and free in the best possible way, and with more security than I had even thought about praying for.
I was reminded in a priesthood blessing recently that Heavenly Father takes care of us. It's like my favorite scripture passage (Matthew 6:30-33) says:
30 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?
31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
32 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
All these months I was so... not upset, but just frustrated that my prayers weren't being answered. But in the end, they were answered in a way far better than anything I could have imagined. I am so happy.
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